My grandson is going through the process of diagnosis but is expected to have a result of Aspergers. He is fine with me, but has violent tendencies toward his step mum (she is lovely) Once they get a proper diagnosis they will have assistance. I know that. But I want to learn from others too. How can I help?
For the double whammy he is also a victim of foetal drug syndrome. His birth mother was an addict and used during and after her pregnancy.
Any tips from parents and grandparents going through this appreciated. His Dad is trying really hard to give him a normal life.
2 Replies
Aspergers does not exist anymore it all falls under the autism banner. My advice as a Mum with an autistic child is alter your expectations, he won't behave like others and therefore dealing with him needs to be adapted. Seek as much professional support as possible. My psychologist is my god send some weeks, it's a whole lot of trail and error, always remember that what works one day may not work the next so be ready to adapt. Most of all look past the diagnosis and see the child for who he is. At times all I saw was autism so I have to constantly remind myself to look past it and see the boy and person he is, I can't tell how much just doing that helped.
Mum of one now adult on the spectrum. Definitely seek out professional supports. Your son and his partner will need be open to changing parenting styles. Take advice from child psychologist, occupational therapist. I would also encourage to seek a speech therapist as a lot of kids with 'Aspergers' appear to have excellent language skills but often have poorer receptive language skills.
I'd also encourage everyone to become analytical in there approach. By that I mean, look for patterns in behaviour. Eg lashes out when instructed to get dressed. Then work out what it is about getting dressed he doesn't like. So is it that he lashes out more at step mum or is it just that step mum is around more and is doing the bulk of parenting?
Be prepared to give them parenting breaks and follow the parents lead.