Please don’t post to Facebook.
Hi ladies, I have a son that is 5 and a 7 month old daughter and I’m also pregnant.
I have mild untreated depression.
My house is a pig sty and I can’t seem to fix it!
When my daughter came we got flown to a hospital 4 hours away due to birth problems and needing resuscitation.
We got out when she was 2 weeks old.
4 weeks later we were back in hospital for a week because she had meningitis. We have been in and out of hospital since she was born, paediatricians, doctors, nurses, it never ends!
My problem is, my daughter is so clingy, which I can understand, but I can’t get anything done around the house unless I’m holding her.
When she does sleep (maybe 3 hours a day) I’m so exhausted from waking up 5-6 times with her the night before that I just crash and burn while I have peace and quiet.
My house is trashed, I need help but I feel like such a failure!
My partner is constantly asking me what I’ve done all day, why the house is such a mess, but I have no energy.
Cooking dinner every night is like jumping a hurdle on its own.
I know I’m failing as a mum, but how do I get out of this?
How do I just go “ok yes I’m exhausted and emotionally drained right now, but I’m going to do it anyway”?
My daughter is sick again with a chest infection and this has only made her clingy ness worse.
I just need tips on how to get some motivation, how to make my son happy so we can have a Christmas tree and Christmas in a clean home, how to make my partner happy by the house magically cleaning itself in one day.
How to make myself feel better for being a massive failure to my kids, my partner and to myself?
Thank you 😭
7 Replies
You’re not failing at all! Have you got a baby carrier? It’s like holding her but giving you free hands :)
Hi, thank you.
Yes I have a baby carrier which I use to mow the lawns and stuff that keeps me upright, I’m just concerned with all the bending during house work with her getting tipped and thrown around lol. My partner and son (who learnt from his dad) leave clothes, plates and rubbish on the floor so I do quite a bit of bending.
You are not failing by any means. Being a mum is the hardest job in the world. The fact you are looking after your 5 year old, your 7 month old and growing your 3rd baby is a massive achievement in itself. You are also putting dinner on the table for your family which most days I find a real task.
Kids won't remeber a clean home when they grow up but they will remeber the love and care you provided them and that's exactly what you are doing.
If you want to find the motivation to clean.. have your hubby take kids out for a few hours on his day off so you can clean. I personally rest 1x day sleep and clean tidy the other. That works for me you just need to find a solution that works for you. Don't put unnecessary stress on yourself. A clean home is not a sign of a happy home
Totally agree with this poster. You have enough on your plate right now. If your hubby wants a clean home why doesn't he get started and you can help him if you have the energy.
Definitely get a baby carrier for your sanity. The other thing I found worked really well was a swing where they could sit up and watch what was going around them but also be soothed by the rocking.
Thank you these comments made me feel a little better.
Unfortunately my partner can’t even look after our daughter for 15 minutes without complaining about how needy she is which is understandable with everything she has been through with needles almost every day during hospital visits, MRI’s and lumber punctures so I give in quite easily to her. My son is probably better than my partner when it comes to keeping her entertained.
She likes her jolly jumper, walker and play mats but only for about 15-20 minutes at a time. So I get washing done and hung but I can never find the time to fold it or put it away.
My mum has offered to have both kids tonight so I can get some sleep, so I may take her up on her offer.
If you can, hire a cleaner to come and clean the house once a week! There is no shame in that! You sound exhausted and overwhelmed and the housework is just topping it all off. Being pregnant is exhausting enough but you also have a baby and a little boy.
You are so not a failure!!! Your a human being who can only stretch so far!
Your Husband could offer some help instead of criticism.
I remember those days. Your not alone.
Pump the music... I do cleaning on Fridays so I can listen to rnb Fridays on the radio.
Sleep when you can. In the morning when you have the most energy...cook dinner! Crockpots are a lifesaver- even in summer. Or, cut up salads And veggies, that’s half of dinner done before you’ve even had brekkie.
Make yourself go outside for activities. Like a quick walk with the kids (walk to school and back if your eldest is in school)
Just spend 5minutes every hour packing away things, sweeping or tidying. It makes a huge difference.