I just found out I am pregnant. I have children who are already at school and I have just started to feel like I am able to have a little bit of a life. I just found my dream job and was so excited to get started.
I am really struggling to accept this news. I know there are many people who can’t have children and I should be happy I can. I feel really bad that I am not bonding with this baby and I hate myself for feeling this way. I cry anytime I am alone, I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I hate that I feel this way, but no matter how hard I try I just can’t seem to feel happy.
I had post natal depression with my first and I feel like I am heading back down that path.
I don’t want to feel this way anymore.
Help please.
Struggling with unplanned pregnancy
Struggling with unplanned pregnancy
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy
13 Replies
Can you get an abortion?
You don't have to carry the pregnancy if you don't want to. People who can't but desperately want children aren't relevant to your situation so don't let that make you feel guilty because your feelings are yours and they are valid!
I would suggest having a chat to your gp about how you're feeling and discuss your options.
Best of luck xx
1300 737 732 is pregnancy counselling Australia. They will be able to help support you and help you make the right decision for yourself and your family.
You don’t have to have the baby, you have choices beautiful IM❤️
I struggle with infertility and I am pro-choice. I don't think it is a good idea to bring a child into this world when they are unwanted, not going to be financially taken of, if the mother is not going to cope, if they are going to have medical issues serious enough that they will be in pain for the rest of their life etc. It is not a choice for those struggling with infertility to make so don't feel you need to include people like me in your decision.
How far along are you? How old are your other children? I think you have a lot to think about and consider. Sending u big hugs it's a life changing decision xoxo
I have just been through something similar. I had 2 children and was done. I was really enjoying myself now that I had a tiny bit more freedom etc. Then wham, pregnant again. I personally don't agree with abortion so that wasn't an option. I was disconnected all pregnancy and found it hard to be excited. I actually hated being pregnant. I started to think that there was something wrong and that I wouldn't love the baby when it came. Come bubble being born and the love was definitely there. I love him as a mother should completely normal. However, I still have horrible depression. Some days I want to run away and not come back.
I suggest you start counselling now so that you can be on top of things when bub arrives.
Thank you for your reply. It is so nice to know I am not alone. I also don’t think abortion is right for me, I just don’t think I would be able to live with myself if I did it. My husband is so excited and it kills me that I can’t feel the same way. I am glad you have been able to love your bub now he is here. I hope I feel the same when Bub arrives.
I am booked in to talk to the doctor in a few weeks. I have done a bit of reading about prenatal depression and I show a lot of signs that I am heading that way. It scares me because I have had post natal depression and it was horrible. Hopefully I can get some help now and having the baby will be easier.
You are not alone ! I cried when I found out about bub 3 I had terrible HG with my pregnancies and I struggled the whole way through it I hated that I resented my baby during pregnancy I was so scared I wouldn’t love her when she arrived but it was honestly love at first sight !!! When she was born the resentment disappeared and I love her as fiercely as my other two !! 🙂
I too had depression and still struggle 2 years on but professional
Help and learning to accept any other help when it’s offered from extended family and friends has made a huge difference !! You can do this mumma !!! You totally truely can !! AND remember your other kids are a bit older so will probably be a help with bub !!!!
This was me recently.
I had my two boys, one was about to start school 5 days a week which meant full time work, income, less struggle, a social life and freedom!
That all came crashing down when one single swimmer beat the Depo. I cried for 3 days when I found out then on and off after that. My partner and I had only been together for 2 months so I struggled to be excited even though he was and I was worried I wouldnt bond with baby. I dont judge those who terminate, but its just not me so there was only one choice.
It got easier as time went by but the second he was born, I knew everything was perfect and this was meant to be. He is the apple of everyone's eye. He changed the family dynamic and makes everyone so happy. I do not regret my one and only decision for a second. He just.. fits!
I went on the list for a tubal ligation the day I had him and went on contraception as soon as I could. Low and behold I was pregnant 8 weeks later and im due with number 4 in 10 weeks. There will be 12/13 months between them 😑 They called me about my tubal ligation appointment 2 weeks ago. I told them they were too fucking late! 😂
Haha oh dear. I hope all goes well with number 4.
Thanks for your comment, I needed this.
After reading this I decided today was going to be a better day. I needed to know that other people have been there and it has all worked out in the end.
The same happened to a friend of mine except she got pregnant like 2 weeks after having her youngest. Because they are inducing her early there will only be 8 months between them! She swears she's not having sex after having bub until her tubes are tied lol
If you have just found out, you have choice, a choice to keep or abort the pregnancy. Don't feel guilty take control of your life. No one else knows what you are feeling or thinking. Get a pros and cons list together and fast and talk to your GP don't pretend it will go away as you need to be active in your life