Hey Im's, ill try to keep this short. Our friends (couple, ill call them Tash & Steve) have a gorgeous little 18mth old baby we are worried about possible PND for Tash, steves family member has contacted us.
Things like Physical violence from TASH towards steve with photos to prove it, (Scratches, bruises, hateful & horrible text messages from TASH towards steve to the point of her threatening to take the baby away never seeing her again
Neighbours are complaining about the verbal abuse and arguments coming from the household and sister is worried DOCs will get involved if the cops are called due too arguments / screaming matches. they are under HUGE financial stress. NOW all of this does not sounds like our friend (Tash) at all, when we see her she is so happy and tells us little bits of the stories, but laughs it all off and there seems to be no issues of real concern, she is a very proud & independent person. We also thought as this was coming from Steves side of the family) that maybe it isn't all truth but after long discussions a lot of this is adding up.... Especially with the photos, screenshots of msgs & steve breaking down. Steve has self harmed in the past so we are certainly worried about his well being.
Do we contact TASH & confront her and let he know we want to help, Do we tell Steve we know everything & help him come up with a plan to help Tash?
Do we contact Tash''s family ?
We know by confronting TASH we will most likely lose this friendship for awhile as we have tried to bring up PND, are you ok etc?? in the past and it gets shut down very quickly. PLEASE HELP!!! Thank you all so much 😀
P.s I typed this out 2 weeks or so ago and was too scared too post it. Since then things have gotten worse Steve has threatened to leave but worried about leaving his baby too. Please help :-(
3 Replies
A while ago my mum was behaving very erratically (very similar behavior to Tash^^) and unlike herself so my grandmother - with help from a few other family members - literally put her foot down and said "I am taking you to the hospital, you are not well and you need help". It didn't come to this bit they were very willing to call police and paramedics if it got out of control. It sounds extreme but it may need to come to this at some point.
Steve needs to get himself some help if he's self harming, speaking with a counselor about all this may help him see it all with more clarity.
I think I'd reach out to both families and see what can be done.
I believe there's also a mental health hotline you can call, they may be able to help you with what steps to take.
In all honesty, of your story was gender reversed - the majority of responses would be that the person on the receiving end should leave with the child and seek DV support. Tash's mental health aside, maybe that is what he needs to do.
Someone needs to step in because you have a parent at the risk of self harm and a parent physically and emotionally abusing the other and verbal abuse coming from both sides...and between these parents is an 18 month old child whos witnessing all of this and probably at risk too!!
This is family violence! Regardless of it being PND or not, someone needs to get Steve And the baby out of that enviroment.
Tash needs help if it is PND so yes, contact her family!
I'd be encouraging Steve to take the baby and stay with his family.
Not saying this is her but a narcissist comes up across as being confident and never tells people thed bad things. It coukd be pnd, it could be stress, it could be a vokitike relationship but maybe she is an abuser and regardless right now she is! Tell Steve to call a dv helpline get out with baby and take a dvo out against her then start mediation.
This is the advice id give a woman too