Need to vent!
This week has been so stressful. My boyfriends ex took a restraining order out on us. She's been jealous since we got together. Sending me messages all the time that he has just kissed her and slept with her that he will always love her more than me that they are getting back together soon. This has gone on for almost 2 years, and all that sort of stuff a jealous ex would say. She's trying to say im abusive on front of the children and have physically attacked my bf in front of them. Lucky for me I have so much evidence againts her. She's always been harassing me day and night with calls and messages. I also see the kids more than she does as she doesn't have them at nights or on weekends. She's trying to get my bf for sexually abusing her every day on pick up and drop offs forcing her to have sex with her or she won't be aloud the kids. She's bat shit crazy if you ask me!
So I have to go to court next month to try and get her to take it off me and my bf too. I've haven't had any time to scratch my self due to finding evidence and seeing my lawyer and tying up my affidavit.
To top it all off I've just started my resume wanting to get a job but my agent just rang and said I have to vacate in May due to the new owners wanting to move in.
My bf said I can come and move in with him but this just isn't an option right now as his ex still part owns the house.
I have no idea how I can manage all this stress right now.
My daughter is also getting testing for ADHD as will so I have so much going on I feel like I'm about to explode. She's so full on never stops never sleeps and is always whinging and just damanding my attention 24/7.
Don't know what I'm asking just needing to get it all out
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7 Replies
Write a list. Like a diary list. X gets done on Monday 5th March...etc etc etc as it sounds you’ve lost control of things and everything’s overwhelming. Take some control back and organise what you can.
Find a house for you and your child/ren.
Do what you have to with the ex, but I wouldn’t move anything faster with the partner until EVERYTHING with the partner and his ex are sorted. If that side of it becomes too emotionally exhausting, it is okay to step back and it is okay to walk away.
A job for you would be terrific. Organised chaos...that you get paid for. I’d suggest applying with supermarkets for early shifts if you can swing it, or day shifts that work around schooling. Your daughter sounds like she’s stressed too! Yes, she may have adhd however, she may just be exhibiting signs of stress or overload. If your feeling it, I guarantee she is feeling it too. What you have described, is perfect symptoms of stress In children
Find a new rental and take care of yourself and your daughter. Thats way too much drama and involvement for an ex it should have been stopped at the start and if hes not stopping it then move on. Nobody needs that in their life.
You need to block the ex from contacting you in any way and watch very closely how your partner handles the ex... he needs to step up and deal with the ex professionally in the sense that he should only communicate with her about the children. I mean to the point where he needs to just ignore anything else and distract himself with the children. She wants drama clearly and he is entering into it by reacting to her otherwise she would have no reason to keep up the garbage. If he doesn’t put a stop to her and the bullshit it would be enough for me to end it. Harsh I know but your accepting this life filled with drama and chaos. If it hasnt changed it won’t change ever and that’s just what you’ll be signing up for. Sorry I know this is probably the last thing you wanted to hear but this is very toxic and out of your control. Only he can allow himself to be treated like that.
I would want to know where she got her information from. Ie about you hitting your partner etc if she got it from her kids then I'd be inclined to believe them. If the kids come home and say to their mum
"****** and dad were fighting again, it was very loud and ***** daddy" then I'd believe them and want to stop them having to be in that environment.
If she's truly off her rocks enough and believes everything she's saying to you enough to go crazy and write messages saying the things you claim she's saying are you sure your partner isn't feeding her those lies? Chicks don't normally act like that for no reason, lots of times a chick is crazy because of what a man has done to her. Or she's on hard drugs and needs to go to rehab
In a lot of circumstances there's something going on and you are unaware of it. I'd be making sure she's not being fed those lies and if she's that emotionally unstable then I'd be going to mediation to prove that you are the more suitable people for those children to live with and going for custody of them.
Nailed it. I’d be taking a look at whether the bf is telling the complete truth. Sounds like there’s 3 versions of what is actually happening here. The bf, the ex and then there’s the truth. Someone is telling porky pies.
So two years is far too long for this to be going on. If it's one sided she would have run out of steam, got distracted, or he should have taken some action.
If she is alleging this, right from the first time, why is boyfriend not making hand overs at the police station?
As for you she has no need to have your number or have any contact with you. A restraining order would just mean she can't come to yours or near you and that's good news for you.
I would be prepared to hear in court some things about your boyfriend that might surprise you. And I would not move in with him right now. Your situation will just go from bad to worse. Wait until this is all sorted out and if you're still together and she's sorted, then move in, but I think there's a very high chance that he's part of the problem here and you're going to see it sooner or later and get out, it's such a mess.
He’s not protecting you, if he really wanted her to stop her harassing you, I think he could make that happen. You don’t even live together. He is allowing this behaviour amd I think he has contributed to it more than you realise. I think there’s a lot more to this story than you know, please don’t believe what he says, look at his actions, they will give you a clearer picture. Anyone can say anything.