This may be a bit long, so bear with me.
My husband and I have 3 beautiful children, but we always dreamed of having 4. Now that we've reached that point, my husband said he wants to stop at 3, but in my heart i don't feel done yet.
He's been back and forth on this for the last couple of months. First, he agreed that we'd TTC again, then before we could even try, he decided he didn't want to TTC anymore. Then a few days later, he agreed to give it a go just for one month and see if it happened. Fast forward a few weeks to now, where I found out I was pregnant over the weekend but sadly learned a bit later on that the pregnancy isn't viable and will pass naturally.
When I told him I was pregnant, he was really surprised. He said it was almost impossible. I asked him why, and he confessed that he hadn't really been 'finishing' during sex, just telling me that he had and finishing himself off later (sorry for TMI).
I glossed over it at the time because I was happy to be pregnant, but now that I know it's not sticking, I've had time to think. I feel really hurt and betrayed.
He is up and down like a yo-yo on this subject, and I really can't take any more messing with my feelings. For every time I feel hope that it might happen, I'm met with more disappointment when he changes his mind or I find out I'm not having a baby after all - and each disappointment hurts more than the last.
I don't know what to do. I just had to share that somewhere because I am hurting in my heart and I want to know once and for all whether I should hope that we will finally complete our family, or that I should just throw out the idea and move on altogether. I'd never pressure him to have a child he didn't want to have. I just need to know for sure whether or not to let myself entertain my dream of completing our family. I don't think I can handle having any more disappointment than I've already felt in the last couple of months.
Any advice? Thanks for listening đź’”
3 Replies
My hubby and myself have 3 kids I would have continued and had number 4 but hubby felt done with 3. We spoke about it and we decided 3 was better than none and accepted that we where some with kids. Everytime our youngest hits another milestone I get emotional because his the last one hubby understands and lets me do my thing. At the end of the day it sounds like your husband is not ready for another child. That's ok you have to be able to accept that his done with kids. He should be honest and open with you and tell you one way or the other but him not finishing during sex is a pretty clear indication he doesn't want another child.
I can understand your hurt and frustration. I'd not discuss the possibility with him anymore. He's definitely not ready to have more kids and rather than just standing his ground he is being immature and 'tricking' you.
BTW hubby needs to go back to sex Ed classes if he thinks not cumming will stop pregnancy. There is sperm in precum.
Honestly he sounds a far way off from even considering more kids and he's being a dick about it.
Well lovely lady it seems like you’ll need to put this last Bub on the back burner for a while . Him delaying orgasming is a pretty big indicator of where he’s at , even if he can’t say the words . Let’s face it he probably will know just how devastated you’d be if he said NO MORE BABIES .... and who wants to be the bad cop ... maybe you need to find yourself a hobby , study or even pop off to a bit of counseling... we women are so different to men , he would never understand your internal angst .... I don’t know your age but maybe a bit of time down the track he could change his mind or maybe even you will once you gain some freedom ... no one ever knows what’s around the corner really ...