Hello everyone. I have been with someone for 5 years. Last year we got engaged. Two years ago he cheated on me, had a one night stand and the woman got pregnant. I left him at the time but he begged and fought so hard so I stayed. He didn’t want anything to do with this child but he paid for it. Now two years later he has made the decision he wants to be a part of this child’s life. He made that decision without discussing it with me or even telling me about it. I can’t be a part of this- this child represents a betrayal to me.
Also, he keeps having the mother and child staying over at our house ( I have moved out) and keeps buying the mother presents. I am so hurt- we were due to get married this June.
Can I accept a child from cheating?
Can I accept a child from cheating?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Sisterhood Stories
61 Replies
I’m not the poster of that story, I just referenced it in the hope that it could help you gain some perspective.
Pages
This is why you need to go to a psychologist, someone that will let you have your thoughts and feelings judgment free. They're valid and yours to work through and do whatever is right for you and your core values at the end, thats where your happiness is.
Move on. He’s a disrespectful cheating loser creep!
Time to move on, it sounds like you don’t have kids, run before you are connected for life. As for this poor kid, your babe is bad on this you know there is a child born from this, the child didn’t make any choices. This guy is a tool and playing you, the only good thing he is doing to beging a Part of his sons lie. Cut your losses and find someone who will respect you
Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too!!!
Also it’s very difficult to leave when he turns up at my flat and let’s himself in and tells me that he misses me and loves me and life is impossible without me.
I left him to his decision but it pulls at my heartstrings when he does this because I’m only human too and I still care about this person. And I don’t have the heart to kick him out so I take him in and I comfort him.
That child deserves to know her daddy and if he wants to step up (which he does) then good on him. You want him but without the child, you need to leave the relationship. It's not the kids fault your partner cheated on you, nor is it the other womans she had no loyalty to you.
It's a tough situation but if you can't accept the child there's no other option but to move on.
Him inviting the mother to stay and giving her gifts is unacceptable though I would be livid about that. You're probably better off without him.
It’s not the child’s fault but no way no how would I ever accept the child from a cheating spouse to play happy families with me. I would never ever do it not accept it. I would have ended the day I found out though🤢
Is she staying to assist her daughter build a relationship with her father who is like a stranger to her? Are the gifts 'just because' or things that help their child? All that aside, as devastating as this would be, you can't marry a man if you don't love his child. And he wouldn't be a man if he walked away from her. Ball is in your court. A) decide if you can love this child. If so.... B) decide whether you can trust him. No to either child means walk away or accept a future divorce.
The kid didn’t ask to be born, so don’t hold resentment towards her. Hold resentment towards your POS fiancé and kick that fucker to the curb. Fair enough that he wants to have a relationship with his daughter but how dare he then invite the mother of his child to stay in YOUR house and shower her with gifts and expect YOU to be fine with it, given the circumstances!!! He sounds so shady and you don’t need that kind of crap in your life. Go find a man that will treat you like a queen, like you deserve.
I would never EVER be with a man who could walk away from his own child... to actually expect that of him is selfish in every way possible. That CHILD, not an IT!, deserves their father, no matter how they were conceived. If u want to forgive him and move forward, u have to accept that child into your life and even learn to love them, because they are a part of him. Would YOU, ever walk away from YOUR OWN child? Would u pick your fiance over YOUR OWN baby? If your answer is yes, u aren't mature enough to be a mum. If your answer is no? Don't be a hypocrite and expect him to do the same