I’d like to know opinions of older dads and how the kids have coped with Dad being older (around 50 when they’re born) have the dads struggled with being an older dad, not being as able to be involved? Have kids not liked Dad aging and the chances of early death as well as if they were 20 years Dad is already 70 and so on.
We kinda want one more (youngest is 6 of 4 kids) but we are concerned about age. (I’m considerably younger than hubby)
I don’t want to regret not having 1 more but I also don’t want them to lose their dad early or for him to feel he can’t do as much for them due to age...
Older dads
Older dads
Posted in:
Men's Business, Being a Dad, Pregnancy
8 Replies
My son's best friends Dad is the same age as my dad (in their 50s), he's a wonderful, active, attentive dad and he has no trouble keeping up with his kids - as much so as dads in their 20s even!
People are living longer nowadays as well, in my street I live with a lot of the older generation, most of whom are in their 70s and 80s (even 90s) and they're all still living independently and have a good quality of life.
There are no guarantees in life, I know people who lost their parents really young and I know people with older parents who've lived til their 90s, there's really no predicting these things. As cliche as it is, that's why we've just gotta live in the moment and enjoy what time we do get with our loved ones.
Good luck with your choice x
My dad is 67 and is riding his push bike 1400kms across the Nullarbor Plain nex4 month.
I know 20 year olds who are too unfit to chase after a toddler. I know 70 year olds who can easily catch a toddler.
You could be 30 and die next year. Or your hubby could live until he is 100.
Age is pretty irrelevant.
I’m 28, my dad is 72 this year and I’ve never noticed that my dad is older. I’m saying that, he is a young 70 year old. Every time anyone finds out his age they are shocked. And I don’t know if that’s because he looks good or because he has a 28 and 26 year old daughters. We are so close and he’s been the best dad. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
How does your husband feel? It's really a decision for you both. Personally, I wouldn't want to be a new parent at that age because I want to enjoy being retired and able to help out with grandchildren by then. But I know some very uninvolved older parents due to health and some excellent older parents to. So from your question perspective... It's really impossible to answer without a crystal ball. Hence... What do you both want?
I'm 30 and my dad is 83. I was the mistake baby!
To be honest I struggled having an older dad. When I was in primary school he retired and i was so embarrassed about the fact he was older. I really felt like we did not connect and even now I feel this way. As he has gotten older he's been more set in his way and really naggy (it could be the type of person he is though).
In my current life his age does affect me. As I mentioned he's becoming more set in his ways and struggles to make decisions. He can't walk that well and takes ages to do things which is really sad to watch as he deteriorates. We are now preparing everything for when he passes as he feels like he doesn't have much longer to live. It's really sad that my kids won't get to know their grandfather.
For me it has always been a struggle having my dad so much older than other people. And now I am dealing with things that one of my over 50 friends is dealing with for their parents. It's tough and a really sad time.
My partners dad is older and he did struggle having an older dad. They definitely are not close and his dad doesn't agree with our style of parenting as we're generations apart which causes issues. Also he's not likely to live very long which doesn't give his grandkids much time with him. You have 4 kids already and I think if you have concerns about having another it would be best to not have one. A baby is something you want to be 100% sure about. When your kids are grown up do you really think you will look at your 4 kids and their kids and think "I really regret not having 5 kids?" that just seems crazy to me.
Some will say you could get hit by a bus at 35, but the reality is, having kids at 50 means less time with grandchildren and increased health problems when your children are hitting their 20s. What does your partner think, I’m 40 and could not imagine having a baby/toddler. I would look at your motivation in having another, is it because your six year old is becom8ng independent and you see yourself and your identity as just a mum? Can you do something to fill that void, like if you aren’t already, work, study, hobby? Help out your hubby financially by getting back to work or increase your hours more if you do? Be able to get some luxuries, take more holidays with the kids you do have? The thought to me that you would look back on raising your four kids and wish you had another is ludicrous, I dont think that would ever happen. Look forwarx to the next phase, when you and hubby can go out more, have more freedom, take holidays alone together.
Older dads have a higher risk of conceiving children with considerable health problems. Now research has proven that older dads, rather than older mums are at greater risk of having children with autism, schizophrenia, bipolar and other mental health problems. Unfortunately many people are unaware of this. Check the link. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3047786/Devastating-health-ris... and this one http://time.com/10539/more-bad-news-for-older-dads-increased-risk-of-kid...