Help!
I am due back at work in a few weeks and our 9 week old wont settle down to sleep without being breastfed. We need to sort it before I start back as I only work nights and my partner wont be able to settle him leaving him tired for work in the morning.
We have slowly introduced bottles as his before bed feed some nights and he will take it, be drunk and asleep for his burp but within a minute of being laid down in his nest he is awake again and crying for boob. We are aware its for comfort and up until now its been fine but it just wont work for us soon.
He wont take any type of dummy and I have tried taking my nipple out when he is asleep but he wakes. Tried putting him down awake. Tried patting but he wakes and im not a fan of him settling like that. We are at a loss. Any ideas?
Please note:
- We co-sleep and will continue to so please do not comment on that, that is our choice
- cry it out will not work either as he sometimes bursts into a sudden cry that lasts so long he runs out of breath and passes out or comes close (this is being monitored) so please do not suggest this
- please do not suggest changing him to formula because its not happening and thats not what I want help with
12 Replies
Can you put off going back to work, even by just a few months?
If you can't (which I completely understand) maybe it would be in bubs best interest to exclusively bottle feed with expressed milk. It may make the adjustment easier than going from boob to bottle.
Try to keep him awake while he feeds too, then settle him after it to stop that milk/sleep association.
Keep trying with the dummy, you'll probably find at around 4 to 5 months old he'll show more interest in it as he starts to teethe.
Good luck and I hope you find a way to make it work!
I actually got my approval for extended leave this morning! He will now be 16 weeks when I go back.
I quite like the express idea, I just hate pumping haha! Im so lazy but it might just have to do! Thank you x
For me, I see that you could either keep doing what you're doing and put off work, or stop breastfeeding at night. Changing anything with babies/kids involves just taking away the option they want and going through the hard yards until they deal with it. It really just depends if you want to do that or not, messing with a still very little baby that breastfeeds and sleeps well is a very big decision to make.
I said this to my partner last night, I simply just stop feeding him to sleep and we "started" last night.
It lasted all of 20 minutes because my partner had to snuggle him to sleep but every 2 minutes he was wriggling around, grunting and looking for boob. He eventually sat up, held the baby out and went "Tit. F*ck this!" hahahaha!
If he didnt hold his breath while he cried, I think I could do it, but im so worried he will pass out again.
If he is refusing a dummy but accepting a bottle, could you remove the teat and let him suckle on that for comfort? I know my boy absolutely adores doing this (particularly with teething too). Also, try putting something you've worn into onto the bed for him to smell you and cuddle into.
When I was BF I made a rule of no falling asleep on the breast (after 12 weeks old) or if he did start to drift off, I'd immediately pull my nipple out and he would do the little tongue flick for a bit or curl up and sleep. Also, a lot of the time, a BF baby may not need a burp, we found letting him drink his bottle whilst lying down helped. He did sometimes get gassy but not enough to ruin his sleeping pattern.
We are having similar issues at 7 months and I've found holding him just that extra bit longer to ensure he's in a deep sleep has really helped. And then placing him down.
I too went back to work quite early and have no regrets and I am so glad my husband has special time with our son.
These are all such good ideas! Thank you.
Will sucking a teat make him windy though because it has a hole in it and he will take in a lot of air?
I will try them all 😃
The teat idea will definitely give him wind, especially if he's already a windy baby. That's why they say not to let baby keep sucking an empty bottle.
Great tips though!
Yes unfortunately they can get windy from it, my boy hasn't seemed to (we used the newborn teats, size 1 tommee tippee) and because it's not actually attached to the lid or anything, just pull it off from the ring, it's not like they latch on so I don't think he is getting any air :) But I may be totally wrong haha!!!
If that's a concern though your partner could put his pinky finger into the teat and he can suckle on it without getting wind :)
Also please be careful feeding your baby lying down. Babies can aspirate their milk very easily and this can cause many problems and even death in severe cases as they are effectively drowning.
Good pointer - it can also cause ear infections too! We always made sure that he was turned to the side a bit as the hospital had said not to do it completely flat. I should have pointed it out.
He might just be looking for you because he can smell you. I found putting a shirt I had worn in with my bub (or tucking one of her swaddles inside my shirt for a day, then wrapping her in it) helped a bit. But you might find that bub settles better when you're not actually there. My LO was a fair bit older when I left her overnight but my hubby found that different things worked for him than for me. I also found holding bub for a slow count of 120 after she dropped off to sleep ensured she was deep enough asleep to transfer.
You might find that the bottle is making him windy and uncomfortable as well, make sure you have the slowest flow you can possibly get so bubby is working for it like with your breast. Also make sure he's winded properly before putting him down.
Finally, your bub is at the peak of what they call "purple" crying at this age (handy to read up on it). It normally starts to subside by around 12 weeks so you may find bub a little easier to deal with after he hits 3 months - there are no guarantees though.
Good luck x
Sleep elsewhere like you’re not there. Hubby feeds expressed milk and settles bub, so by the time you go back to work, hubs has everything under control