Posting for a friend - Those that have children on the autism spectrum and other kids what do you for entertainment. My son has aspergers and can be quite full on and in your face. He doesnt understand when he is being annoying to other people and has no concept of personal space. He has a heart of gold but can be rough when playing. I tried to take the kids to a play centre today so my 4 year old could get out of the house. He played for 10 minutes and I had A worker come up and tell me he had a complaint. I feel like I can't win. It is very obvious when watching him that he is special. He has tantrums, talks very loud, has jerky movements and acts alot younger than his age. I'm 20 weeks pregnant so I couldn't get in there. I watch him more than my 4 year old but I can't follow him around 24/7. Should I just stay at home and let my 4 year old go crazy? Is there anywhwre you can recommend that would be good for both kids?
7 Replies
Where ever I would take my son Id watch him like a hawk. I’d be with in metres.
Outdoor Playgrounds are much better than play centres because it’s easier to hover and remind my son of the rules eg you are too close now it’s time to move back. Yes watching him more than your average child is part of the deal. If you have an NDIS plan it’s worth considering funding for a support worker to help you on these outings.
I’d also join some Facebook groups for parents of autistic kids. There is bound to be some other parents in your area and suburb who will have plenty of ideas of places that are successful.
Facebook! Meet like minded women in your community who are also struggling. I know our local area has an autism awareness night at a local RSL monthly where all ages attend and meetup. It’s also a chance for the parents to engage with others. You could start something similar. Remember, you’ve been brave posting this - so many women with the same struggles haven’t spoken up and are just as lost as you.
Heres my view - you need to be responsible for other kids safety and if your child needs help with social situations.. but if youre talking atypical bwhaviour then no thats just him and people can deal with it. You need a break too you cant be always with him I have a friend who has basically given up on socialising and from the outside looking in that leads to a certain lifestyle and its really sad that she feels thats her only option as trying is too hard.
Maybe find a quiet or spacious fenced park? Or a skate park? nature reserve? Maybe look on community groups and try tofind a fewsimilar families to meet up with and do things together.
There was 100% no children in danger. I don't mean to say he will hurt anyone more like if he's bouncing on a trampoline and a little kid gets on, he doesn't realise to stop bouncing so hard. Also I don't mean he got a complaint after 10 mins of playing, I meant the whole 3 hours we were there he only played for about 10 mins. He was playing on an iPad the rest of the time. She would never ever endanger a child and she's always watching him. Sometimes things need to be let go because at the end of the day, this is who he is. The same thing happens whether she goes to an outdoor park, why should she have to go somewhere isolated because 1 of her kids is different. She has another kid, and it's not fair on her. Why should the younger child only get to go out at the special needs days. Life doesn't stop because things aren't perfect. Shouldn't we be teaching our kids that other kids aren't always the same as them. Sorry I just feel so upset at these responses.
You are getting upset at people with kids on the autism spectrum. Yes in a perfect world, everyone would get it. But they don’t. I understand how hard it is. I opted not to have more kids because we weren’t lucky enough to be in the era of the NDIS so it was ALL on me! My son is in his 20s. Yes he is different, but he can learn. My son is considered on the severe end but those moments are teaching moments. If I wanted to relax I go somewhere where I could relax. It’s life and getting upset at our responses isn’t going to change it.
Maybe you could offer to help out?
I don’t think there is a perfect answer, I have many friends with kids who have higher needs. What has become obvious for there family is for the “average” kids to have time with a parent with out there sibling. It’s not about Mum always, how about the kids who grow up knowing there life depends on how someone else is going every day? Acceptance is one thing but when one always trumps others it’s not fair. I would say your friend needs to work out a plan that gives her and the other child time out. Or sounds like her son loves tech, maybe just shorten play time but still do it armed with an iPad if that is his chill out zone. Schedules often help with kids who don’t like social outings. Start and end times, not fun and spontaneous but might allow a few more outings