So my and my bf have a 3 year old. He was on “spice” I broke up with him because I was fed up. While we were broke up I did my own thing and he did his.. he got a girl pregnant supposedly and I look at it as if I could have gotten pregnant myself. He did it to get back at me and idk how to handle it all. She hasn’t had the baby yet but she is saying it is his and he said it possibly is! I cry when I think about it we were broke up for 6 months and I am worried about the day it comes how I will react because I can’t stand the girl! What should I do to help me cope with it?
7 Replies
Are you back together? I think you need to get in to talk it through with a psychologist, they can help you think it through more constructively so you can do the right thing for you.
What is spice??
I would suggest counselling if you want to make it work.
In all honesty, I've seen situations like yours play out. I can only say I've never seen it work out. There's usually too much hurt and resentment to get past.
If you are really committed to salvaging your relationship and so is your partner, you're going to need ongoing couples counselling.
There are also some feelings you're going to have to put aside, you may not like this woman but she's the mother of your child's sibling (potentially) so treating her respectfully is a must, the same goes for that baby when they arrive.
Showing my age and ignorance a bit here but I'm assuming Spice is a drug? If so, is he clean now?
If he's not clean/sober and he's not willing to go to counselling or commited to fixing your relationship, I would walk. This situation is only going to get harder, you need to be confident that he's by your side and that he's going to make sure no more hurt will come from this situation he created.
Spice is synthetic cannibas or zombie drug. It's that drug that sends people crazy and makes them want to jump out of 10 storey windows
Oh ok. Tbh I didn't realise that was still a thing!
This is a very hurtful situation. If you love this guy, want to be with him and he has picked up his act then I would have some very serious conversations before the baby comes in order for you to prepare yourself. You need to work out if he will see the baby? What kind of communication will he have with the mother and how? Etc: this way you can start to plan your expectations for the future and the future of your 3year old. If this guy is not for you then walk away with your head held high and just organise your life for you and your toddler. I find the more prepared you are for situations and making expectations makes it easier to for see the future and plan it according. It also makes it easy to know when to draw the line with a relationship if you always make expectations and plans and how he responds and follows them. This is a situation he needs to show respect for everyone. The mother probably wants some action plan also so might be willing to contribute to the conversation for the babies sake.
Quit! Move on with your life. Sounds like too much drama. There was a reason you broke up in the first place. You both slept with others. Focus on getting yourself right and raising your child in a drama free environment