So my partners little brother is 15 and no longer wants to go to school. Has no drive. He wants to be a drummer and nothing else
Won’t get a job, doesn’t wanna do year 11 and 12
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help
Keep him in school?
Teens and school
Teens and school
Posted in:
Education, Teenagers, Tips and Advice
7 Replies
If he wants drum equipment, music lessons, a social life etc then he needs to get a job or go to school in order to receive money or have his lifestyle funded. If he doesn’t go to school or get a job, he gets food and a roof over his head, that is it.
Does he live with you guys (or your partner)?
If not, to be completely blunt there's not much you can do. It's up to his parents to get him motivated and get his life on track. I know it's hard to sit back and watch your kid sibling turning their life into a monumental cluster fuck but sometimes these are lessons learned the hard way...
If he does live with you and your partner, he needs to understand that he's got to do something. Whether that be completing high school in a mainstream setting, home schooling, tafe, a part time job and some courses, seeking an apprenticeship, whatever... Just, ensure he's doing something, and thst he knows sitting around waiting for a career in drumming to fall into his lap is both unlikely and not something you'll allow to happen.
He needs some realistic goals. He likes to drum so that needs to be the driving force, ie.
Does he have a band to play with?
Do they/he have anywhere to practice, if not where will they/he get the money to hire somewhere to do that?
How will he pay for equipment?
How does he plan to make an actual living out of drumming?
All these questions need to be put to him to hopefully motivate him into thinking "hey, I'll need a job to pay for equipment and I'll stay in school to utilise the music programs and facilities".
At 15, some kids are still really idealistic. He needs to comprehend that it doesn't matter if he wants to be an accountant or a rockstar, he needs to work hard, he needs to be dedicated and be willing to make some personal sacrifices along the way.
We live with our in laws and his mum is at the end of her rope
He has just started lessons in drumming
We have asked him al these questions but he thinks we don’t know anything
And he says we don’t understand what school is like
Just trying to find a way to keep him at school and to get him to do his school work
His mum has considered cancelling his drum lesssons as a consequence for not doing his school work
Yes, she should cancel his drum lessons. No study or job, no lessons. Doesn’t have to be high school, could be tafe or similar.
This comes from someone who was training to be a ballet dancer.
I’d also look at getting his mental health check. It’s not normal behaviour to jump from just starting lessons, to I’m going to be a professional. So I’d question if he is depressed or genuinely not coping at school (I’m not just talking about scores on tests, I’m talking socially and across the board). Teenage depression can be hard to spot and often presents as dropping out!
Study and mum pays for lessons or get a job and pay for them himself plus board. If he hates school, suggest adult education. Realistically, he needs to understand that if he wants to be a drummer he's going to need another job to fund the equipment, travel to gigs etc because unless he is in a band that makes it big which is really unlikely, he's going to be doing shitty little occasional gigs in small venues that don't pay much.
Maybe take him to TAFE or Uni open day and he might find something he can work toward.
Not all are made for school.
My hubby has adult ADHD, he some how went to year 12 and started a trade apprenticeship.
15 years later he works for himself employing tradesmen and apprentices.
He still needs to be on tools he drives me mad in the office.
Good tradies are so hard to come by and we pay our good ones very well in return.
There is a massive skill shortage he would be mad to miss out in 5 years when they will be even shorter supply.
Apply in music shops or anything related to music!
My hubby can play anything, it's an awesome skill!
My daughter was getting bullied and was hated school. She just turned 15. She found a job for 25+ hrs a week which allowed her an exemption from school. Next year for year 10 she'll continue to work and study at Tafe. School isnt for everyone and I'd rather a happy child like she is now then a depressed one at school hating every minute. I hated school too and left at the end of year 10 and I'm successful.
He needs to get a job or study at tafe,that is the only way he can be exempt from school till 17. He can practice drums in his spare time.