Good evening ladies.
I’m wanting some advise on how to help my daughter.
My daughter is 15, last year, she lost a school friend of the same age to suicide, (and no it wasn’t from bullying). It’s coming up to the 1 year anniversary this week. Last week was his birthday and she said they all got through that day fine, but she’s saying she not looking forward to this day, as she doesn’t want to be sad. I have told her, yes it will be a hard day but her and her friends will get through it. I’m just not sure what else i can do or say to try and make this day easier for her.
Helping daughter through grief for 1 year anniversary.
Helping daughter through grief for 1 year anniversary.
Posted in:
Loss & Grief, Helping others through Grief
6 Replies
I’d offer to take her to his grave with some flowers if that is what she would like. If you can, let her have the day off and spend a day together spending proper time one on one
I think you've done the right thing. Acknowledged it will be hard, reinforced those around her are dealing with it too and that they can support each other and make her feel safe herself.
The firsts are always the hardest, first Christmas, birthday, anniversary etc.
My cousin killed himself too days after my son was born, it took what was meant to be the most amazing time of my life into the worst time.
Writing a letter helped me get some grief out. Having my own celebrations. Celebrating birthdays etc.
I lost a friend in year 10 (not to suicide, but to a heart condition) and we celebrated him in every way we could at school. Had a memorial service for him. Placed a memorial for him at the school. Etc.
Shes allowed to cry, shes allowed to be sad. Crying doesn't make her weak. Please tell her that. Crying allows the grief out.
Good morning ladies.
Thank you for your replies. Well we got through the day. She was a little up and down throughout the day, she said most of her friends went on as normal, so made it a bit hard for her to show any emotion. She was very quiet when she got home from school, but stayed the night at a friends house who didn’t know the child, but was there for her at the time. Think it was good for her to be at her friends house. 😘
I lost my partner to suicide. the anniversay of death I tried to ignore it as much as possible. i think it was because i didnt want to be miserable while thinking about him. so i let sad anniversary dates pass but i celebrate the good dates like his birthday, our anniversary, etc
I lost my cousin at 16, almost 6 years ago. It became a tradition from her 18th birthday to have a red cruiser in her honour, because that’s what all 18 year olds should be buzzing on for their birthdays! So now every anniversary & birthday this is something we all do. We also do one for family gatherings now, because we live all over the country & don’t get together very often, so it brings her into the gathering.
Maybe her & their mutual friends could get together & start something like this. Something small & symbolic that they can continue on with throughout their lives, no matter where they are.