Hi Ladies,
I am a single mum of 2 kids daughter is 10 and my son is 2 and a half. Yesterday my son was diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) with emerging ADHD which they have said is highly likely as it runs on his Dad's side of the family. I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through this with a toddler and if they have any advice.
Thanks in advance.
ODD Behavior
ODD Behavior
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Education, Behaviour, Baby & Toddler
6 Replies
Hi, I noticed you posted earlier with no response so posted again. You’re obviously in desperate need for some assistance and it seems there isn’t anyone here so far that can. Have a look at joining some Facebook support groups :) good luck!
Our son was a little older when diagnosed with ODD (4 and a half). I found doing the PPP parenting program exceptionally helpful and I learned to use negotiation and distraction to my advantage.
I've never wavered in expectations, I expect his demeanor to be polite and respectful, I expect his behaviour to be non-destructive and non-violent - and his diagnoses isn't an excuse for otherwise, he's also always been expected to contribute to the household and has a healthy knowledge of working a vacuum, steam mop, washing machine and how to wash dishes. He'd been taught to be responsible for himself ie getting his own lunch ready and laying out uniforms the night before (Primary), getting himself ready and getting to the bus himself if I had to start work early (Secondary) and have been very lucky in that he's grown to be a really kind, mainly well behaved young man.
One thing I wish I had, and wish I'd known to even look for was a great Dr that would be on my side. As a young mum there was a lot I didn't know and the pathetic level of care in the public system wasn't something I was aware of until it was too late. Do your own research, be armed with lots of questions and find a bloody good doc.
I have a son who is ADHD/ODD. As far as I’ve been educated (I’m a special needs teacher and attend all my son’s therapies and have ADHD myself), ADHD is a neurological disorder from low dopamine, which causes deficits in focus/attention, working memory, emotional regulation, organisation, effort and processing speed, self monitoring/regulation. It is extremely misrepresented in schools and communities. Here is a fb page that is helpful:
https://www.facebook.com/additudemag/
Also, here is a you tube channel too:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-nPM1_kSZf91ZGkcgy_95Q
There are fb groups too. The one with the fb page I gave you is good. I would focus on stabilising the ADHD and then look st the ODD. And remember that no one will truly understand ADHD/ODD unless they go through it thenself, so you do what is right for you and your boy.
Isn’t this page for support and helping each other? What ever happened to nothing nice to say, say nothing.
I’ve been down this road you poor Mumma. I wish I got the help I needed when my daughter was 2 but I was told I was crazy and needed to harden up. Then at 4 the Paediatrician said you know what, there’s something not quite right. 4 weeks into Prep the school said yep - get help ASAP. 4 years...4 friggin years of pure hell. Was I crazy? Was I a bad mother? ...nope, my daughter was ADHD and ODD and the day her medication started was the day our lives changed. Go with your gut. No one knows your child like you do. Start making small changes with diet and exercise/activity. Removing preservatives and artificial everything will help immensely. Try melatonin (order from iHerb online) if sleeping is an issue. Try magnesium if fidgeting is a issue. Try pure essential oils for meltdowns - Copaiba, Lavender and Cedarwood are great.
But most importantly - look after yourself💋 It sounds crazy but I honestly believe you can’t look after someone else if you’re not looking after yourself.
Hi thank you for the reply and the information. I am glad that after 4 yrs you and your princess finally got the help that was needed and that it has changed both your lives.
The pediatrician did reccomend Melatonin but it doesn't seem to be working and have been paying $55 a bottle for it. Which Melatonin did you use from Iherb online? I have also tried Rescue Remedy Sleep it hasn't worked too well either. Thank you also for the kind words and the advice.
Hello. I am a 28 year old male and I suffer from ODD as well as ADHD.
I was far from a perfect child basically getting suspended from school a lot and getting into fights with other kids. If I met the younger me now I would just say for him to talk to each other people and to walk away when thimgs get tough.
Try to nd what they are good at and enjoy doing and utilise it to keep them distracted.
If they start on you as the parent all I could say from the perspective of the one who got angry is to not engage it with an qrgument or calling names back or whatever. For me and obviously every case will be different, that just made it worse because at times I wanted the argument or confrontation. If they say what they need to say then it is out of their system and 5 or 10 minutes later they are alright again.
For me personally I used to get angry very quickly but calm down quite quickly. I just needed the release but I did it in the wrong way.
Everybody is different but I hope I have at least given some perspective from the sufferer of the condition.
-Will