Dear fellow IMs
I am in a pickle and in need of sister community advice and support.
I was a registered nurse for 8 years (and have not been able to meet all practice hours from the last 5 years to renew the registration.
Are there any mums facing this?
I have three special needs children, two girls on the autism spectrum and the other with developmental delays in speech and cognition.
I have always worked as a qualified carer in disabilities and in-home care then straight into RN training and work yet only being one for a small period of 8 years of my whole nursing career. Now 44 where do I go from here? I even think nursing is beyond me now.
My twin girls with ASD who were diagnosed 6mths ago are high functioning ASD at 4years and my youngest daughter is 2.5years with her developmental delays.
Cost of re-entry to practice heavy for us financially and mentally even though I want to resume and hold what has always been part of my identity : caring for others.
I don't know what other options I have especially at my age with potentially facing discrimination with age and what I'm worth or would cost an organisation but also being expected to perform to standard despite being junior when starting new. I understand humiliation from those in senior positions very well. Noticing the horizontal violence amongst nurses all through my 25 years of nursing. Still it's the only thing i ever did.
It's scares me to start completely new.
Where do I go? What options are there? Study options?
Corporate, arts humanities and the sciences are no interest. And I've realised since taking a few steps back I've identified many similarities with my girls diagnoses and their struggles with social connections, learning and effective communication. I see why I struggled at work. Very stressed internally but appeared in control.
The struggles and bullying are indescribable and humiliating while working as a registered nurse. BUT I always thrived on patient care and the vulnerabilities which I could relate to.
Immense struggles with several practical areas involving risk of death : managing drugs and pump equipment. BUT despite these internal deficits and high anxiety I showed heart and soul with being efficient and meticulous.
I always expected to do it right but knew being human meant there was a risk of error. And I didn't want that.
Now that the registration has lapsed I feel I'm now free of that pressure but also unable to use/access other aspects of non clinical patient care that suited me because it would mean facing the immense stress of having to do ALL of the tasks that brought me so much stress when I was training; a junior nurse and working in general (in charge etc).
At times I want to be a nurse again but I don't think attempting to cope with study demands but also meeting the work demands as I said is workable and achievable.
It may seem I have no direction but maybe ideas on the humanistic and social areas of nursing care other than the direct medical aspects that you know can be used in other work would help me.
And would that require intensive study? What courses? Costs? Any helpful suggestions and advice.
I live in the Southern suburbs of Melbourne.
Please I don't want criticism. I self sabotage enough and would love some sisterly motherly support more than anything. I don't have a good relationship with mine.
I do feel pretty useless but now that ASD fits my processing, expectations and anxieties I've finally got the light 💡 of what had been going on for the past 40 years!!
All my achievements have been delayed by 10-15 years compared to peers yet I have managed to achieve bachelors and even honours, a marriage to a hard working loving man, 3 beautiful children and a home of our own. Thats gotta say someth'n!!
Please no insults as more than anything I'm seeking kind advice as it has taken me such a long time to prepare this post already.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
6 Replies
Might I suggest... teaching??
You already have a Bachelor in Nursing... perhaps teaching in the field? You could gain a Cert 4 in adult education and be eligible to teach enrolled nursing at TAFE or even individual support services, disabilities, etc. That way your getting school hours and flexibility, its not a hard study load, and you'll be able to pass on PASSION!! Life experience!! And be able to shape and mold future aged care workers, future nurses who have the same passion for people you do.
Oh! Yet even though there's a bachelor degree, the registration is no longer active. Are you aware of this possibly being an issue?
Teaching never came to mind.
Your registration is separate to your Bachelors. Your bachelors is your theoretical knowledge and your registration is to ensure you have up to date clinical application. My friend is a highly trained nurse and midwife and needed to move out of the shift work for her family. Did a MASTERS in education as she already had a BACHELORS in nursing. Let her registration lapse. Moved into high school teaching and has thrived. Having the masters gets her significantly better pay and prospects and also means she can teach in universities. You could definitely do this! Good luck
Could you explain what individual support services involves?
Aged care work, so teaching infection control, caring for elderly, feed assist, changin urinary bags etc. usually a course done through tafe or community colleges
What about becoming a MCHN (maternal and child health nurse)? No shift work, you get to work with parents and babies. Weighing, measuring, talking about child development. I feel like this would be an excellent option.