Please post anonymously...
So I’m freaking out!! I’ve just turned 42 and have discovered I’m pregnant. I have two adult daughters 21 & 18. I’m divorced from their father but am still incredibly heartbroken and have been on & off (more off than on) with my interstate partner for 5 years. Yes I know I’m stupid for getting pregnant but didn’t think I’d still be fertile to concieve. I’m torn as to what to do as I’ve undergone 2 spinal surgeries resulting in a fusion and don’t know how/if I can go through with this. Am I too old to start over? Can I do this alone? Has anyone else had a child later in life alone after having kids earlier? How did you feel having a child to a different man? Any advice is appreciated.
Can I start over having a baby later in life?
Can I start over having a baby later in life?
Posted in:
Pregnancy
11 Replies
Could I do it? Hell no! Can you do it? That’s something only you can answer.
For me, the lack of sleep, loneliness and just general lack of energy was hard enough being young let alone older.
What does your partner think?
I have two kids to two dads. It's really not that taboo anymore. I personally couldn't have a child at that age but it's really only something you can decide.
Yes you can! It might not be something you would deliberately do, but if you want to, you can.
My grandmother had her last baby at this age. My auntie and mum were in there early 20s.
It’s not a great age to deliberately try to get pregnant because nobody knows who will have difficulty conceiving at this age and who won’t. Some women have a spike in fertility as your ovaries try to use up your eggs by spitting out extras.
You can do anything you are committed to doing. But... having 2 spinal surgeries and then carrying a pregnancy - definitely have a chat to your GP and even specialist. This could put you at serious risk of long term mobility issues that could impact your ability to parent this bub... Living with someone with serious spinal issues myself, there is no way hubby could lift or carry a baby or a toddler or bend down into a bathtub to wash them... can't carry a basket of washing, etc... Good luck with this very hard decision
I know 2 women who were 43 and 45 who were pregnant and both had a healthy baby each. You need to sit down and figure out what you want to do, can you keep the baby, could you consider getting rid of it, do you want to be basically starting over again, consider your finanical situation and your baby daddy, do you want to be tied to him the rest of your life, and also talk to your doctor about having a baby after having your surgeries. Good luck with your decision.
Yes you can do it with the full support of the father. Make him responsible too. For me I couldn’t do it at that age but i also have 3 young kids. Everyone’s circumstances are different. It’s a hard one, I couldn’t do it but I also couldnt go through with an abortion. Maybe it was meant to be. Do what is right for you. If you have support then why not. You have adult children who will be there for you. I know a few people who have had babies in their 40’s they struggle a little but they don’t regret it either. Talk to the father but remember it’s you that has to live with the decision that you make. if it was me, I would definitely have the baby but that is me and my circumstances, I would just deal with what ever comes my way. All the best
Every baby is a blessing
I have 3 and a small gap compared to you but big enough to get it. I’m looking forward to the empty nest and being a grandma so I can babysit and give them back lol.
It’s a hard choice only you can make and don’t forget other options like adoption or the dads family possibly being involved. Good luck
Can you please read up on sex education, because you are fertile until you hit menopause.
Stupid reasoning for NOT using contraception that's for sure.
Bit harsh but true
I’m 50, still menstruating albeit a little infrequently, but while I still release eggs, there is a chance, yes a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless of getting pregnant. That’s if I have sex 🤣
Geriatric pregnancy. Increased risk of complications. Your back/health problems. Doing it on your own. Hmmm I’d be seriously considering termination