Is it normal for a 40 plus male want to spend time talking to and snap chatting 17 to 20 yr old girls? He also only follows teenage type persuits on other social media and girls in that far bracket. I questioned it because I thought it was a bit off and he stated that he didn’t see anything abnormal about it.
Would you trust them around your 17 year old daughter?
15 Replies
No and no. Obviously.
Nooooooooo
Not normal
Not healthy
Yes it is off
If he doesn’t see that he has BIG problems
No I would not trust them around my pre teen or teenager.
Even though it’s creepy , anyone over 18 is an adult and as you said the ages are 17-20 but the 18 and over he isn’t technically doing anything wrong . My daughters are 18, 19 and 20 so i’d still Continue to pull him up on it if I was you . My 20 year olds best friend is a 43 year old man and I think he’s a creep being her bestie because of his age but she doesn’t as they are definitely strictly friends and nothing I can do about it , regardless. Not all older men are sleezes but a lot are . Just keep your eye on him.
Well, 16 - 17 is the legal age for consent in most Australian states, so it's legal, like barely but nonetheless it is not against any laws.
Would I want him near my 17 year old? Fuck no! This sounds predatory and creepy, but there's not much you can do to stop this kind of thing because technically he's not doing anything wrong (legally speaking, morally is another story).
I just hope I raise my kids well enough to stay away from and not become such people, you know?
**I almost wonder if you're talking about a guy I know, same age yet never grew out of his obsession with barely legal girls, got a few of them pregnant too**
When e will talk about it. Sometimes he won’t because he gets defensive. He states that it is in no way sexual. He however can’t/won’t explain why he is interested. And I guess if it was just something he did in addition to what I would call regular stuff for someone his age I would question his intentions less
Do you need him to admit it is sexual? I mean its established that its gross and inappropriate and if nothing else looks bad enough that he should think about that, as a lot of people do when dealing with people much younger than them. It is predatory and if nothing is admitted to, bare in mind that grooming is a thing. So is being so in denial and flipping the script to it being ok, innocent, nothing to worry about and then of course they came onto him, they did this, etc etc.
He should at least admit his role as a much older person as being in a position of power, guidance and manipulation. This is why most people are careful about what they Do, to protect themselves from perception but also accusation, his boldness in claiming there is zero issue with it should concern you.
It sounds a bit more like some kind of voyeuristic perversion rather than a desire to seek out and sleep with young women, if he's defensive then some part of him does understand (at least to some degree) that this is seen as creepy and not ok by most people.
You're well justified in being concerned about this behaviour but all you can do is really observe his behaviour, especially around your kids and be willing to report him IF he crosses that line because unfortunately, in they eyes of the law - there's no crime in being a creepy pervert, not until that line is crossed.
No, no and Nooo. My cousin was 15 when she started dating her dads best mate (36) these days you can’t tell the age difference too much because she’s aged quite badly and looks to be in her 40’s but it was pretty scandalous back then. I still think it’s weird. Keep your daughter safe and I’d totally be asking her if he’s her sugar daddy.
Did anyone call the police for your cousin?
Oh hell no. That's a huuuuuge red flag
If you are talking about your male partner/boyfriend etc this is drop dead red flag deal breaker for me.
I had a 24 year old ask me about my 15 year old daughter. I wanted to break his knee caps. And maybe his face.
I don’t trust him & wont allow him around any of my children.
He knew her age. He questioned me, her MOTHER about her where abouts at 1am.
I had similar when I was 14/15.
16 may be deemed legal, but their mental capacity for a full blown adult sexual relationship is not there.
Some women do prefer older men. And relationships where 2 people have gotten to know each other & fallen for personality is a bit different to someone only chasing people 20 years their junior. A woman would be looked down on in the same situation.
I always said no. Until recently when it appeared many men have a keen interest in it. My hubby lost all respect for a few men due to this. He is pretty anti-social and due to work had to go out for functions and was disgusted by the way men behaved around schoolies aged girls. To the point he ended up putting a jacket over his “uniform” to hide his association to the people he had to be out with. It seems that many men think it’s okay to chat and connect with teen girls as if they are teen boys! Felt for my hubby as he hates social situations as it is and being a father of a teen girl was fighting being professional in the situation.
No definitely No