Hi mums,
I am a 30 year old woman with 2 babies. A 3.5 year old and a 5 month old. I currently weigh 92kgs and stand about 173cms tall.
My entire life I've always been a bit overweight. Not hugely overweight but heavy. The largest i got to was 108kgs. I hold it well, I dont look extremely large but I am big.
As a child growing up I was always bigger than my friends, and Ive always been the big sister. I have 4 sisters and all of them are tiny. All of my sisters and including my mother sit around 55 to 60kgs. I also have two brothers. They are also fit and in good shape and always have been. I remember being a child and overhearing my mother talking about my weight privately to an aunty and she said she didnt know why I was so much bigger than my siblings. I remember she even put me on a pretty restricted diet to lose weight. Years later she told me she assumed I was eating my friends lunches at school because she could never understand why I ate everything my family ate but I was big. But I never did eat my friends lunches, swap food with them or eat anything she hadn't packed. I also never snuck food or had a food problem. I don't binge eat and I dont yo yo diet either. And Ive always been active. About 2 years ago I started doing the Kayla BBG workouts 6 days a week. I committed my damn heart out for 9 months (3 rounds) going to the gym 6 days a week with a kick ass trainer. I didn't lose a single fkn kilo but I did get fit. I could do 100 pushups and 60 burpees. When i first started i couldn't do 10 pushups or 5 burpees. So there was obviously progress in ability and fitness but no weight came off.
As an adult i thought maybe my problem was alcohol. But I didnt drink when I was a child obviously lol. And then I've hardly drunk alcohol since having kids, and my weight hasnt changed.
So I assumed it was my eating habits and maybe my portions or my sneaky chocolate or icecreams here and there. My partner is very health conscious and works out every day, so I asked him to be honest with me and tell me what he believes my problem is. I was surprised when he said that he thinks i eat quite well and that I dont eat that much food (however that is debatable because I think he actually has a portion control issue, but due to so much exercise, weight lifting and sport he can afford to).
Anyways we've been together for 9 years so he would know my eating habits and his response stumped me. I thought for sure he was going to tell me I eat like a donkey or I eat way too many treats.
I am blabbering on here but I am trying to understand why am I overweight. I move a lot, I am run off my feet. I cook as clean as possible and I am conscious of what I eat. I take a lot of pride in how I look and dress but I am sick of feeling trapped and dressing to cover and hide so much. It always shocks me when someone similar to my size drops heaps of weight and tells me they used to eat a chocolate bar for breakfast and drink soft drink all day so they cut that out and wella! Weight gone! I don't even drink soft drink and have a healthy breakfast every frikken day. I personally know i eat better than my sisters but WHY am i the fat one?!
Anyways the whole point of this is to find someone who understands. I spent my whole 20s feeling fat, insecure and unattractive. I turned 30 this year and I dont want to spend the next decade feeling the same way. Something has to change! Is it my genetics? Is there a blood test that can help determine wtf my problem is!??
I need some help from ladies who know where I'm coming from. Ive done 1200 calories a day, michelle bridges, keto, isagenix, i quit sugar, 21 day diet, kayla itsines and even just following the principle of eating REAL food and nothing processed.
Even my husband said to me tonight that he has watched me do every program for weight loss so he doesn't know what else i should do.
So help me. What do you suggest. I am so sick of this friggen weight. What am I doing WRONG?!?
Its really upsetting me.
*edited to add*
I dont qualify for weight loss surgery as my BMI is 30 (it needs to be 40 or above), and I am not sure its something I would want to do either for multiple reasons...dont have the finances, dont have the time to recover, husband doesnt have any annual leave to consider staying home, i have two babies that need looking after. Regardless it isnt really an option right now.
Also please dont suggest a diet for me. I would really like to hear from others who have tried everything and what worked for you and whether it was hormonal.
23 Replies
I’m no expert but I’ve read a few articles on Hormone imbalances. Maybe go see a naturopath. They should get you to do a heap of blood tests done. They look at the levels of hormones and where they’re sitting st and where they should be. Also remember when you exercise you build more muscle and reduce fat but muscle weighs more than fat. That could also contribute to it. Did you measure cm’s to see if you lost that way too?
I was like you as a child, always the fat one. I hated it and I still do as I'm still the fat one, so much so that my mother tells me I'm fat and need to loose weight every time I see her. I suggest looking at a naturopath but be prepared to spend some money - I went for 3 months and spent around $900 in that time on the stuff they wanted me to take. Yes it worked, I started loosing weight and wasn't bloated but I had to stop due to finances. And have you had a doctor check your thyroid? That can cause unexplained weight.
There could definitely be medical reasons such as slow metabolism, hormone issues and an overactive thyroid gland but one thing I’ll always remember is a doctor telling me once that being overweight or obese is almost always because of years of over eating , consuming the wrong food , skipping meals then binging and large portion sizes . Even if you aren’t aware of how much you are actually eating , keep a food diary for a while . You’ll be surprised where some of the snacking etc .. actually fits in , and how much you’re really eating . ( if it isn’t because of a medical reason ) .
That doctor seems like a dick
You should check with a dr maybe something is going on. Are you eating enough? Sometimes when you don’t eat enough you can hold weight sort of thing. Maybe get referred to a nutritionist. I was trying my hardest to lose weight for a year and no results I started eating more and at
Set times and lost 10kg in a month. Amazing how our bodies work but I was starving myself, working out hard and my
body wasn’t happy. Added more food as per medical advice and saw results.
Hi I am the OP
Can you please give me an idea of what you used to eat and how much compared to what you eat and quantity now?
I eat bf, lunch, dinner and snacks in between. Surely i am eating plenty! It baffles me to think that maybe I should eat more just as my husband suggested.
Can you cut out the snacks in between?
Probably not. I am breastfeeding at the moment and consuming between 1200 to 1800 calories a day. I am not super strict on my calorie consumption (like it doesn't have to be 1200 and no more) but I prepare all my own food so its mostly all unprocessed and unrefined. My snacks are either hard boiled egg, peanut butter on vitaweats, carrots with homemade guac, bliss balls, etc. So nothing 'bad'
Hi OP
I don’t eat a lot in comparison to others because 12 year olds are bigger than me but for my body that’s right, I eat unprocessed and no sugar. But I was doing the almost starving myself thing with no results. I went to see a nutritionist as per GPs advice and she made me a meal plan that matched my body. So worth a try bringing up your weight concerns with GP it might be a hormonal issue or just a simple change of diet. Weight is such a complex thing I find.
As you are breastfeeding you obviously need three meals plus snacks, but when you stop I would def cut down your food intake. I wouldn’t even have time to eat that often in a day.
Also when I’m trying to lose kgs, I’m not a dietician or anything but the last things I would be eating are eggs and peanut butter.
Eggs and unprocessed nuts are really good. Not so much PB.
Jump on the Weight Watchers website and cruise around. They are hands down the ONLY program that works - and that's because they teach you to eat within your lifecycle - normal foods from normal shops that work for your family/culture, put effort into your headspace and include functional exercise.
Promise :) I've fallen off the wagon more times than I want to count and the only time I'm balanced is when I do WW. In fact now I keep an online membership just for the headspace :) And no I'm not paid to write this...
Interesting.....I’m not the OP but I’m going to have a look 😀
Why would you not eat eggs or PB?
They both have a big fat content. PB is what they gave my son to put on weight.
I think, by the sounds of it, you are eating way too much and the wrong foods.
If you honestly want to kick start your diet, you really need to go hard at the beginning and once you start seeing results, it will spur you on.
I know people will disagree, but when you have so much weight to lose, you need to get drastic, not follow the eat lots etc.
I have experience with this and keeping it off.
The less you eat, the more your appetite shrinks, but you have to be prepared for hunger pains, it’s tough, but worth it.
I would honestly start with the soup diet.
Then two really low fat meals and a replacement shake for one.
Hi OP here...thanks but I find your advice not very helpful at all.
Firstly I am breastfeeding, exclusively. Secondly I am making all of my own food so nothing is processed or has refined sugar.
Thirdly I am eating between 1200 to 1800 a day. Breastfeeding alone burns 600-800 calories a day and my body requires 2300 to stay alive, so already I am working with a large deficit and should be seeing a weight loss. Eat less than what you need. Its an easy rule to follow BUT it doesnt work for me.
I have also said in my original question that Ive done everything under the sun to no avail. I brought this up with my mother yesterday and she said she remembers when I was younger I became terribly unwell and lost a lot of weight. However once I was better again the weight just piled back on even though I resumed normal eating, none of which was bad! She said I was eating everything my family ate so she couldn't understand why either.
I have been doing a lot of reading into autoimmune diseases such as hypothyroidism, eczema and chronic sinusitis can cause issues. My great grandmother, grandmother, mother, brother and sister all have thyroid issues. I also have chronic sinus issues, eczema and allergies. I see doc tomorrow because this seems to be beyond a food issue.
Sorry, I just reread you post. Good luck with the doc, I hope you get the answers you are seeking.
A normal GP might fob you off. See a wholistic/integrative GP or naturopath. I’m thinking autoimmune, allergy, food intolerances, hormone ....
Could just be genetic babe. 92kg and your healthy and fit sounds great! I’m 115kg (was 160kg) and 41. For the first time in my life I’m allowing myself to love the body I have with all its faults. As long as your weight isn’t stopping you from doing anything (and it sounds like it isn’t) then just enjoy being you and your beautiful family who love you just the way you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. Go and see a psych and work through your body issues. You’re perfect just the way you are. xx
See an integrative GP or naturopath. You’ve tried the diet, the exercise, time to look at your health. Get bloods done
Firstly, good on you for looking after yourself. It seems like you have a good diet and have been very active. There may be several issues here
1. Sounds like you have tried heaps of diets, even having your mum out you on a restricted diet as a child. All this chopping, changing and restriction can have a major effect on your metabolism. It may take a little while to get it reset.
2. If you are breastfeeding, you may find it very hard to loose anything. I know everyone says it helps drop weight but I have found (I’m on my 4th year of breastfeeding! No 2 child) that isn’t how my body works. It holds on to fat until I finish feeding (and then I get pregnant 🤷🏻♀️)
3. Your first step should be the GP. Blood tests for ALL. THE. THINGS. Explain the situation - he will probably need to test thyroid function, liver, hormones... so many things can contribute to this. Especially as it’s life long, this seems to be a high likely hood.
4. The other likely Hood is... this is the size you are supposed to be. If you eat right, exercise, and have no imbalances or illness... you may be a more solidly built person. And that’s ok! The BMI is an incredibly antiquated method of measuring healthy weight. I know if my husband followed it he would look ill, like, terminally ill. Ideal body shapes change so constantly, what we call fat was the ideal size for someone in the 1600s! If you are healthy, then maybe this is just who you are.
Good luck. I’m about 5cms taller then you and 5kgs heavier so I know what you are feeling. It’s tough. I’m hoping you have a break through of some kind - either of an issue you can fix or that you can accept what is the outcome.
I have a friend X who is a personal trainer. He is super fit and lean and has an amazing body. Another friend Y was talking to him and asking X how Y could get a physique like his. His answer was the best. He said “Look I am a Kelpie and you are a Labrador. There is no way for a healthy Labrador to look like a Kelpie. What you need to focus on is being a strong healthy Labrador, not comparing yourself to others.”
I have a friend X who is a personal trainer. He is super fit and lean and has an amazing body. Another friend Y was talking to him and asking X how Y could get a physique like his. His answer was the best. He said “Look I am a Kelpie and you are a Labrador. There is no way for a healthy Labrador to look like a Kelpie. What you need to focus on is being a strong healthy Labrador, not comparing yourself to others.”