An older cousin, who is 12, recently told my kids (7&4) the "truth" about santa. My kids are understandably confused and sad. I have had stern words with both the cousin and her mum so it won't be said again in my house, but now I'm having trouble getting my kids back into the Christmas spirit. I am unsure how to go from here, what to say to get them to get them to believe again or do I just leave it at that and santa stops coming?
19 Replies
My kids always knew the truth that Santa is just a story. My kids now teen to adult still love Christmas.
I have been told by other family members that I was ruining Christmas for them. But how silly.
My kids have told me they appreciated being told the truth and the magic of Christmas hasn’t stopped for them because it’s about more than Santa and always has been.
Me too. How does lying make it magical. It's a wonderful fantasy. My kids 7 & 4 have never been told santa is real and know it's a fantasy... But boy do they love santa!
There's nothing like a kids face on Christmas morning who truly believes Santa has been. Or the excitement Christmas eve. I miss my kids being young enough to believe in Santa. My son was 10 when one of my older kids tried to tell him Santa was not real and he did not believe him because there's no way Mum could afford all those presents 😂. You're all kill joys 😢
I find it so weird a 10 year old doesn't know santa is a story. Do they not have RE at school?
RE? Don't know. People tried to tell him but he was adamant Santa was real, I wasn't getting in the way of that. He is now 15 and perfectly fine, not even traumatised from his extended Santa belief. Time will tell though, it all might hit him as an adult and drag us all on Dr Phil because of it.
Religious Education 😂😂😂 Really? So letting your kid believe in Santa is not OK but religion is? Are they not both fictional? 😂😂😂
I'm not religious personally... But Christmas is. So surely, if your child goes to school and does RE, he gets told santa is just a story? My kids in prep... He learnt that. Then he asked if God was real and I answered some people believe in him and others don't. He asked if he doesn't believe does he still get presents, I said of course. Magic of Christmas renewed.
Christian RE in public schools is by parents choice. Only they would tell preps Santa isnt real and its religious. Teachers would not.
Six kids through Catholic school and I have never had them taught Santa is not real, the subject is not touched! They embrace Santa at Christmas time too and he comes to visit. You can believe in Santa and be religious at the same time.
I did scripture in my late primary school years (RE i guess it's called nowadays), they discussed the birth of baby Jesus blah, blah, blah. Not once did they even mention Santa!
My teachers from as young as I can remember taught us about the religious meaning of Christmas, the pagan heritage, the true story of Saint Nicolas and Santa as we know him today. Not one teacher or religious educator felt the need to tell us Santa wasn't real.
(Despite what I'm about to say below).
OP, I found out at 6 years old that Santa wasn't real. A boy in my class announced to us all that Santa was our mums and dads, I found out many years later that his parents told him the truth as they were very poor and couldn't afford gifts, so they disnt want him to be disappointed or think he'd been bad xmas morning (that breaks my heart just thinking about it now ☹).
I don't think there's anything you can do, I was ok - I never told my mum, because I think part of me wanted to hold onto that magic a little longer but by the time christmas morning came, all that would be forgotten when I was opening my presents, eating candy canes for breakfast, feasting with my family that were all in one room together for that one day, playing with my cousins and you get the point...
My childhood Christmas memories are still beautiful, not at all tainted by the "loss" of Santa, if anything it makes me more thankful my mum scraped through to give us wonderful gifts (I'll never know how as we were on the poorer side too).
Don't worry, the magic is still there, just in other ways!
I agree wholeheartedly! I can’t believe some of these responses
Christmas is an elaborate pretend play. Santa has never stopped in our house, and as tweens and teenagers my sisters and I loved buying a bunch of funny crap to go into my parents Christmas stockings and playing Santa in reverse.
I’m in my 40s and Santa still comes. The magic never really goes, it just changes. Christmas is super magical in our house, lots of craft, baking, volunteering or time and donating. Christmas is magical and not just about santa.
Had a neighbourhood kid invite herself over today and promptly tell my kids Santa isnt real 😒
Roughly same age as yours. I wouldn't do anything, let it go and continue as is and theyll get back into it.
I've always believed that its right to encourage logic and critical thinking and let them work it out, I won't force a belief when they have come to a logical conclusion and new belief. Just at age 7 I'm hoping for a few more years!
Agreed! Though I'd say anytime after 5 is normal to reslise it's just a bit of fun.
If they persist with the”Santa isn’t real” aspect then I’d be encouraging you to “turn them into Santa’s”.
Once Santa is found out, then my family turn the child into a Santa and get them to anonymously gift presents...without revealing themselves.
Last year my nephew gave out 3 presents he had saved up for, one went to a neighbour, one went to a homeless man he saw on the street(he gave him thongs, a book and a pillow all wrapped up) and a bus driver who he gave a reusable coffee mug too.
The “Christmas” spirit is about giving and helping those less fortunate. My nephews and nieces are all “santas” and my son is the only one who still believes (he’s 4) and I think this might be our last year of Santa.
We're not going to go along with Santa being real story, when he is old enough to understand Christmas he will know that Santa is everyone and we make Christmas the special time that it is. When we go to the shops, the men dressed up as Santa ARE NOT the real Santa, we won't be going along with the crap. We want to say there is a Santa but you won't meet him until you are older and ready to. And there's a letter I found online that you give to your kid explaining that everyone is Santa at xmas time :) We're atheists but want to embrace Christmas in some sense for the inclusion it brings with friends and family.
We're going to be saying that Christmas is a time of giving and receiving and it is up to us to make it a special day for both us and others.
My 9 year old was told the other day...he is a realist...but I think I got him back around.
We have the elf..they both whole heartily believe our elf is real.
(She can be pretty naughty)
My mum is a massive Santa fan, I still get swept up in it.
Pretty sure my believe and the kids believe feeds off my mum and I.
My son is 11 and has only just realised the ‘truth’ this year. When he has asked in the past I’ve always put it back on him and asked him what he believes. Perhaps you could explain to your kids that some people believe in Santa and therefore get presents from Santa, while others don’t believe so don’t receive presents from Santa. Make sure they get some presents from mum and dad, as well as some from Santa if they choose to believe. If they choose not to believe bundle presents together so it looks like they are receiving fewer presents than those who believe. Also make sure there are presents for mum and dad from Santa so they think you believe.
You don't need Santa to be real for Christmas to have magic. The magic of Christmas is in family, friends, and the spirit of giving. My 6 year old recently questioned if Santa was actually real or not. I didn't actually answer, but asked him what he thought. He said he didn't actually know. I asked him if he wasn't real, why he thought people made him up. He told me that Santa was the spirit of Christmas. I asked him in what way, and he said generosity. He seemed a bit down for a couple days, but he's completely back to his old self.