My husband andI have booked a overseas holiday (4 hours by plane) away in a few months for 5 nights. We both have very stressful jobs and hubby has mental health issues so a break is overdue. We have a 2.5 yo and a 8 month old that my inlaws will be taking care of, my 2 year old would live there with them if he could. As the date approaches im feeling very anxious about deciding to go without them. Is it selfish to go away without the kids? What if something happens to us or our kids when we are away? Are they to young to be left without their parents for that length of time?
11 Replies
You can't think about all the unlikely 'what ifs', I mean, God forbid of course, something could happen to you if you were 20 minutes away at the supermarket too. If you dwell on that too much, it's quite depressing and scary.
In no way is it selfish to take a kid free holiday, we need to replenish ourselves in order to be at our parenting best. You're fortunate enough to be in the position to do that with a romantic vacation with hubby and have caring trustworthy grandparents to leave your kiddies with that I'm sure will cherish the opportunity too.
Go, have a wicked time, recharge the old batteries. It will be good for you all x
Nah I think that's fine. It's only 5 days and it's not like either of your kids are newborns. Go and have fun!
We've done it a few times and are doing it again in March- parents need a break too.
I personally would be the same. And I’m not sure if my anxiety would ever let me plan a holiday without them. But I’m over-eaaring/over-protective mum here who’s attached to her kids at the hip.
BUT it sounds like it’s a well needed and DESERVED break for the both of you. So just own that shit. You’re going to have an amazing (relaxing?) time. So just push hose negatives to the back of your mind and lap up the well earned time off
If you were separated your kids would do that between you and their dad regularly. Since you're leaving them with family that they love it's no different. Stop judging yourself
HOW DARE YOU NOT WANT TO BE STUCK TO YOUR CHILDREN 24/7!!!!SELFISH COW!!!
Obviously kidding, do what you like you will all survive! A break is needed I wish I was able to do it when my kids were younger.
Its completely up to you. If you trust their carers then emotionally they will be fine. I think you have to think about the real likelihood of something happening, are you making careful choices in airline and activities etc, and how bad it would be if the unlikely happened. Ie) if it means your kids end up in foster care or with an abusive family member then you would need to be extra careful and wouldn't go, but we all need to live our lives and can't do nothing, just need to assess the risks and make smart choices.
In all honesty, I couldn’t leave an eight month old. But it depends on so many things like how close they are to their care givers, their disposition, how well they sleep, if they are clingy or not etc. Trust your instincts, you obviously have faith in your family, so enjoy your holiday.
Same. I was still breastfeeding mine at that age
Why the need to fly overseas? Drive a few hours away and you’ll still get a nice break, without the heightened anxiety of being so far away 🤷♀️
Oh god no it's not selfish at all! Before you were their mum, you were a partner/wife. You need to take time for yourself and the relationship you have with your hubby. I think you'll be just fine, as will your kids.
Just for your piece of mind, my hubby and I recently has our 5 and 2.5 year old grandchildren, while our son and his wife took a well deserved delayed honeymoon to Bali (which also included a wedding of one of their dear friends.) The kids were absolutely fine with not going. My daughter in law cried when she left, as like you she was a bit anxious, but once she got to the airport and had checked in, my son tells me she had totally relaxed.
And don't forget, if you are worried, you can always facetime to give yourself reassurance that the kids are ok.
We went on holiday when my 2 kids were 2 and 6, they dont remember. As long as u trust the minders, go, enjoy, have fun and come home refreshed.