Am one of the unlucky ppl who have been gifted with so many illness, fortunately it could be controlled but sadly it’s life long ones.
To name some of them ( chronic pancreatic diseases, Coeliac diseases, asthma,major depression disorder, eczema and many medications allergies) I managed to live with it over the years with the help of my loving husband and our family.
And as anybody else I have bad days and good days but my bad ones out number the good ones lately, I think it’s get more complicated as we get older and I completely understand that.
Last night we were having dinner my 5 years old son ask his daddy, why mummy always sick?
I didn’t know how to explain it to him, I wasn’t prepared for his question neither did my husband
I couldn’t sleep thinking about it and I don’t know how to explain to my kids 5 & 4 years old that no matter how I feel I will always be there for them, I will always love them, just like any mum and dad out there, but with little difference.
Please help me out
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3 Replies
Kids usually want a simple answer. In this case I would say yes, poor mummy has more sickness than other mums, sometimes its x, sometimes its y or z. They may also be seeking some answers about whether mummy will get better, or that mummy isn't going to die. Let them ask questions and answer very simply and honestly but give reassurance as well.
A lot of what you describe is related to gut health. I wonder if that’s something you’ve looked into and by treating that you’ll also be creating a better future for yourself and your child. I wonder if they seeing you being proactive about your illnesses or wallowing in them?
Honestly, all families have their strengths and challenges and illness just happens to be what you have to deal with and it’s not even your fault at all.
I have noticed children given lots of love, that have family members with illnesses or special needs, develop beautiful compassion, consideration, healthy self competence, knowledge of caring for others and of how to be healthy and have an extremely close bond as a family.
When explaining your illness, I’d just keep it simple. I heard others just say it’s mummys “sickness” when referring to symptoms they see from you and that “it’s normal for mummy”. Then as they get older, give them the correct name of the main/most prominent illness and older still a sentence of what it is.
You are doing a great job Mumma, it’s a tough road with chronic illnesses, let alone combining that with parenting!