Hi all,
apologies in advance if this is a bit over the place I'm all over the place.
So I have a beautiful 8 month old, I struggled when baby was first born so went on a mental health plan and seen a psychologist for a few months.
The overwhelming feeling of dread has gone I don't think I feel 'depressed' I mean I don't feel constantly sad. I rather feel like a robot like I'm just going through the motions of life. I don't feel I get enjoyment out of life at the moment I'm short tempered and snappy I don't have much in the way of patience. I don't really look forward to anything at the moment, I feel empty and disconnected. I sometimes look at my child and feel like I'm looking at a stranger it's as if there's no connection between us. Logically I know I love her but I just don't feel the emotions at the moment. I don't know what's wrong with me I don't want to go back to my doctor to talk to her about it I'm not sure what to say I don't feel overly sad it's just like I feel nothing what can she do to help me. I stress about telling my husband he is so supportive but I feel like a burden I just want to be normal again.
I feel so disappointed in myself I have a beautiful family and I've checked out on them they deserve so much better than me. I have booked in to see my gp again although I'm not sure if there's much I can do I feel silly discussing antidepressants as I don't feel depressed would they even help me? If you read this far thank you it feels lighter to atleast write this down if I've made sense to anyone and they have wisdom to impart I'm all ears
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
6 Replies
That sure is depression, it comes in many ways. Yes I think since u have tried psychology and still like this u should try antidepressants. They take 6-8 weeks to see a change, sometimes u have to try a few before u get the right one for u. But it def works best coupled with more psychology! U need to break the cycle and as much as some of the homework sounds silly it works after a long time if regular practice. Let ur hubby know u need his support and understanding. Good luck mumma!
You really need to discuss this with your GP. Just say exactly what you wrote here. That’s perfect. Your GP is there to listen and nothing is silly to them.
When I’m depressed I feel like how you described but your GP is the one you really need advice from.
Having depression does not just mean being sad all the time. And like anything really it differs from person to to person. My sister was really angry all the time and any minute thing would send her into a rage. For me it was feeling overwhelmed and a burden to the rest of my family. Neither of us looked forward to anything or would get excited about anything.
Definetly have a chat with your doctor about antidepressents to me it does actually sound like you need them. I was also embarressed to say anything but I had a really fantastic sympathic doctor. Trust me I know its easier said than done but you need to speak to your doctor and tell them exactly how you are feeling...you cant live like this forever and you deserve everything and anything that will help you become and feel the person you want to be. Good luck mumma you CAN do this xox
Do yourself a favour and read “lost connections”
It is depression
I didn’t realise I had it until much much later.
I loved my babies so so much but felt like I had nothing but them and I poured everything I had into them and that was it.
I found what helped me was
Making myself get out of the house more often
Doing things for me and having me time (go to the shops alone, have a bath, get my hair done - just the small stuff)
Eating right
Getting some sleep - sleep when baby does or get hubby to let you have a sleep in on the weekend
Meditation has helped me heaps with my short temper and anxiety.
Getting out in fresh air or in nature makes a huge difference for me
And changing the way I looked at life - loving everything I have and being grateful for it instead of worrying about everything I didn’t have or comparing myself to other people.
Writing and photography is my outlet and being at work a couple of days a week has also helped as well.
I still have a long way to go but I’m so much better even the hubby has noticed a huge difference in me over a 6 month period.
Some of these may help you too
I highly recommend natural remedies before resorting to drugs.
Remember that no one is perfect and you are enough and perfect for your bubs. You are doing a great job and everything will get better.
Definitely talk to your doctor and also get your blood tested too - you may be feeling worse due to lacking in iron or other important vitamins. (I was severely anemic)
Being a mum is hard work and we all have our shitty moments/days/weeks.
Wishing you well x
This is me! 100%
Or it was anyway, I do take sertraline, only a low dose but it’s enough to make me a functioning human again. Not to say it works for everyone and that it will work for you but definitely speak to your go again and tell them how your feeling, or rather not feeling. Numb is no way to live xxx