‘Nothing’ daughter
Hi,
My 10 year old daughter has no allergies, bahavioural issues etc but notices that many (many) kids around her- at school, at the park, at the shops, our friends kids do.
She feels that she is the one with something wrong with her because she has nothing wrong with her.
She told me the other day that sometimes at bedtime or when she’s getting ready for the day she feels nervous and sick in her tummy but can’t figure out why.
I said Maybe she was excited, nervous or anxious.
I explained about anxiety. She repeated the word many times and seemed happy with our chat.
A few days later while visiting friends she piped up and anounced she has anxiety.
I have noticed in her playtime with friends she always roleplays with a character that has an allergy. I am beyond grateful to be in the ‘nothing wrong’ box.
How do i reassure her that it’s ok to just be her and there is nothing wrong with her because there is nothing wrong with her!
no allergies, no behavioural issues
no allergies, no behavioural issues
Posted in:
Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour, Kids, Aspergers & Autism
6 Replies
As someone who was similar as a kid I would suggest she does not feel she has anything that makes her special or unique. Try focusing on her strengths and talents.
I was that kid at school, so its not a new thing. I desperately wanted glasses, but I got nothing. I now have a kid with a few 'things' and one that seems like will be all good. Its just interesting and a kind of fomo that you want something too - remind her these are medical things that the kids didn't ask for and as well as a getting to go to hospital etc it's not fun or enjoyable for large parts. At the end of the day it just is what it is, she will get over that feeling of wanting something too.
Attention seeking?
I think at 10 she's old enough to be told in a straightforward fashion that allergies, behavioural issues, anxiety etc can be extremely debilitating and sometimes embarrassing for some people and in the case of allergies - potentially deadly!
I would make it clear It's not something she should wish upon herself and that these are issues other people really struggle with, they don't have these issues for fun or for special treatment (which is probably where this fixation stems from).
Also help her understand that we are who we are, there's no changing it so she be much happier just being herself!
I would also re adress the anxiety topic with her.
Feeling anxious is a normal emotion.
Nervousness is a normal emotion.
Both are extraordinarily different to having clinical anxiety. You dont want this to develop into her sort of glamourising mental illness.
I tend to agree!
Especially re: anxiety! Kids are very susceptible to suggestion.
She’s attention seeking. I was a “normal” kid no health and physical issues not even a broken bone ever! I desperately wanted the attention I faked knee pain so I could wear a knee guard while playing netball and feel special. Once in primary school one girl got glass in her eye and got special treatment and attention well because she had glass in her eye! But at that age I was jealous so a couple days later I tried to put glass in my eye so I could get the same treatment I was so disappointed I didn’t. I’m so embarrassed of that behaviour now but it happens. don’t make suggestions to her just listen which I think she’s already told you she’s jealous of others and their “issues “. Talk to her again stating she has Anxiety Because you suggested it is a slippery slop