This may need a trigger warning.
I guess I’m just looking for people to say “I felt the same and everything was fine”
Or just some form of reassurance.
I’m pregnant with my 4th baby, my last baby was a micro prem.
Every since I fell pregnant with this baby (planned) I’ve had this gut wrenching feeling that he won’t make it. That something will go wrong in the pregnancy or at birth and I won’t be having a baby to take home. I never felt like this with my others. I don’t know why I feel like it this time and it’s an awful feeling and
It’s made it super hard to bond with baby. Any one had something similar? Thankyoj
Baby fears
Baby fears
Posted in:
Pregnancy
2 Replies
Yes i had same feeling after a miscarriage. Every milestone I hit in the pregnacy wasnt a relief just more anxiety about the next about something going wrong. Every doctors/midwife/ultrasound i was just waiting for them to tell me something was horribly wrong. I gave birth to a healthy bub on her due date. Please speak to your doctor or midwife about what you are feeling now. I wish I had so I couldve enjoyed my last ever pregnacy.
Dont feel guilty (i did) i think this is more common then what we realise especially after a loss.
Me.
I had this with my second pregnancy. All throughout the pregnancy I was shit scared he wasn’t going to make it and I found it hard to bond with him in utero.
My first child had an easy pregnancy (while it lasted) with a premature birth at 26 weeks and a complicated neonatal story. My second pregnancy was fraught from the get go with issues and he was delivered via emergency c/section at 32 weeks. He was healthy though and discharged two weeks later.
When he was born I didn’t have the rush of immediate love that I experienced with my first. Deep down somewhere I knew I loved him but it wasn’t the same all consuming love I’d felt with my first. When he was a year old we had professional photos taken and in those photos I could ‘see’ I loved him but it wouldn’t be for another 6-7 months until I ‘felt’ it properly.
When we came home from the hospital I was entirely sure he was going to die. I would hardly check on him as he slept because I didn’t want to find him gone. Every morning after he started sleeping through the night I would wake up and try to hear him snuffling and consider the thought that he’d died through the night. I would always have my shower and breakfast before checking on him with the thought of ‘if he has died I’ll be ready to face it’.
By the time my son was 4y/o this fear had subsided greatly but was still lurking beneath the surface. Just before his fourth birthday my father who had an amazing connection with my son passed away. He had been unconscious for a number of days but about 10m before he died he ‘woke’ and called my sons name. I was heartbroken by my dad’s death but shit scared that he had called my son to be with him in death, that my fears would finally be realised. That was 9y ago.
These days I know I love my son without doubt. I still have wee niggling thoughts every now and again that he may not ‘make old bones’ but it doesn’t consume my thoughts like it did for the first 3-4 years. He’s a great kid and loves his family deeply. He is emotionally well equipped and is very empathetic to others.
Maybe I should have voiced my concerns to my health professionals and they could have helped. I chose not to for whatever reason and along the way I have shared my story with very few people. For me it is something I keep close to myself because I would hate my son to think this was his story.
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy and hopefully my story brings some comfort that while they’re tough thoughts to have you can come out the other side.