So I've just had a friend tell me my children are spoilt.... umm wtf..
Backstory
My eldest child does washing for his grandparents, he earns about $50 a month from this depending on how much he does.
And my youngest collects cans/bottles and returns them for the cash earning him about $60 a month.
I don't dictate what they spend it on as it is their hard earned money.
They have both brought presents for their cousin at birthday and Christmas. As well as for their grandparents out of their money.
They earn their age in pocket money from us as well but it is strictly put into their school banking accounts as savings for our next overseas holiday.
Am I spoiling them by allowing them to earn big lots of cash like that.
Neither of them brag to friends about their money they are actually really respectful about it all.
My youngest has so many cans/bottles purely because his Grandparents run a social club and he sorts them for her and they go half in the earnings from it.
19 Replies
"Spoilt" by my definition means, a sense of undeserved entitlement, elitist attitudes, selfishness, bratty behaviour like showing off or boasting about ones belongings or money, putting others down for things they don't have and lacking empathy for less fortunate.
I think unless your kids are exhibiting those qualities, then no, not spoilt. If anything you're teaching them them value of a dollar and instilling a good work ethic. They're obviously generous too by choosing to spend their own money on their cousin's gift.
I dare say your friend is just a bit jealous!
Nobody's business but yours. It is always nice to assess what you're doing though. Depending how old they are, having lots of money to spend freely does give them the wrong idea about money and having.
Spoiling is giving your kids every little thing they want without earning it. Also muddy coddling them, like "oh you poor baby you kicked your toe let me buy you a toy". Even teaching them to not be happy with things they have received for free, like second hand clothes or meals. Giving in to tantrums or not even getting to the tantrum stage because they so readily get what they want. They also love to show off what they have to other kids and refuse to share, or control it somehow like "I will give you one lolly if you let me play your game tonight". Money does not make kids spoilt, I know of kids from not well off families that are extremely spoilt. Its about what they get and how, no matter how big or small.
Thats a lot of cans
He has that many because his grandparents run a social club and he sorts through them for her and then they go half in the money from it.
I don’t think your friend knows what spoilt means!
Sounds like your kids are learning a work ethic and the value of a dollar.
They don't sound spoilt from what you've written. I've recently read the barefoot investor for families and it has some really great information about teaching your kids the value of money which you might find worthwhile
No to me thats not spoiling your kids. In fact hats off to you I think you are instilling work ethics, and the value of the dollar. You are obvisously raising well rounded and considerate kids if they are spending THEIR money for gift giving.
Spoilt kids dont give a shit and want everything for nothing with no appreciation for where it came from.
No. You are teaching them that by working hard they can earn and save money.
Sounds like jealousy or she’s referring to something you haven’t mentioned
Maybe they act spoilt and entitled? Maybe it’s their attitude, not their work ethic or earnings? Maybe they brag to your friends kids about how much money they have and how they can spend it on whatever they like? 60 bucks from cans...hmmm....that’s a lot of cans.....
Neither of my boys brag about the earnings. My youngest occasionally will take in the new teddy's he has brought or cards but that's it. and the cans money is because his grandparents run a social club and he sorts through them for them and they go halves in the money
Why didn’t you ask her what she meant by it?
Did you assume it was due to their earnings?
Sometimes others can see things we’re blind to as parents and sometimes people just say shit things that aren’t true.
You know your friend better than us, is she the bitchy type that strives to bring people down or is she fairly honest and straightforward?
The only person who can clarify this is your friend.
How old are these kids?
Having 60 bucks to spend a month on whatever they want for say a seven year old, that’s pretty big and I can see how they would think your child is spoilt, especially since it’s helping grandma out with the social club.
However, at 14, I worked at coles and earnt 150 a week, as a teenager, that is fine, you buy clothes, go out etc.
I think a little kid would just spend their money on crap and probably isn’t setting them up to be financially responsible if you let them do as they please with it. Anyway, jut my input, as I said, really depends on their age.
They are 11 and 7. I do dictate a little in what they buy. The 11yr old just brought himself a hard drive to go with his gaming console, and previously saved up his money to buy said console. Youngest generally buys the trading cards he likes or teddy bears or both have brought books etc to.
She said they are spoilt getting that much money a month... and that she feels I shouldn't be letting them earn so much money at their ages.
I don’t think it’s you, I think it’s grandma and grandpa spoiling them.
That’s a lot of disposable income for kids that age to get, they are also learning that helping out family comes with a wage.
My son goes to school with an Asian girl, they have a family business and all the kids work in it, not for money but for the family.
If your son was going out getting cans himself, showing initiative, that would be different but in reality, they’re both just helping grandma and grandpa out.
I would probably put the money away for them, my mum deposits money in my sons account each week as do I, but it’s for his future, not to spend weekly on whatever he feels like, he is 11 also.
Your kid your rules.. your friends opinions don’t matter.!
Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it’s what you think that matters. And the fact that her comments triggered you to question yourself tells me there might be some truth to it?
Perhaps put more of it away, or start them on a savings plan, is it in the barefoot investor where it’s so much to saving, to charity, to living, to fun etc