So it’s another Sunday night. And everyone’s in bed except me. I’m sitting on the lounge trying to hide my crying. I had my second baby 7 months ago. I’ve been having thyroid issues ever since. Unfortunately my weight has just ballooned. I have an amazing medical team and I think we are finally on the right regime of medications, diet and exercise (I’ve managed to lose 3kgs in the last 3 weeks) But it’s just not good enough... I ask hubby for a hug and he’ll tell me that at my weight I’m not attractive and then he walks off. Or he’ll say something along the lines of “this (pointing at me) is not lovable” I know my weight has ballooned in the last 6months - I get that I’m 20kgs heavier that when I was 9months pregnant. I don’t really know what I’m asking. I’m just hurting and if I try to tell him. He just tells me to work harder. I wish I had someone to talk too. Someone who accepts me as I am.
17 Replies
what a jerk.
You deserve better.
Gosh, what an asshole! You are so much better than him and I’d be reconsidering this relationship.
I have had thyroid issues my whole life so totally get how disheartening the weight gain is when you actually trying so fricken hard. But seriously your husband seems like a complete f*****g c**t! Seriously while the hell says that to somebody. Babe you really need to reassess your relationship, is this the kind of hurtful shit you want to deal with for ever? Or want your kids growing up thinking they can talk to people like that. I’m sending you all the love and strength xx
You have two issues here.
1. Your health/weight gain.
And
2. Your husband who is being verbally abusive and putting you down all the time adding salt to your wounds.
I feel like number 1 would be a lot easier to get under control if number 2 wasn’t an issue or a big factor. He doesn’t help. He probably makes things worse because he makes you feel so bad about yourself, it’s added stress and worry that you don’t need and that doesn’t help with weight gain.
Your husband is a fucking cunt.
Get him out of your life
I developed an autoimmune condition that attacked my thyroid while pregnant. Unfortunately 4 years on and it has never resolved- my medication dosage always changes and my weight fluctuates. I have never got back to pre-illness weight. It is super positive that you've found a great medical team and 3kg weightloss is great!! Sorry that your husband is being an arsewipe. It's hard enough to accept the changes to your body without someone else highlighting them and being so disrespectful. Personally, I'd rather be alone than treated like sh#t in my own home. Of course my husband must see the changes to my body but, you know what, he never says anything negative. He supports me when I go through my rigid healthy eating phases, but he also reminds me to speak kindly to myself when I get in a negative thought pattern & obsess over calorie counting. I hope you find a support network who builds you up- enough that you can manage your health issues, and enough that you can rid yourself of a husband who hurts you more than he heals you.
I've put on 30kgs over the 15 years me and hubby have been together. I've had two kids.
Not once has he ever mentioned it.... or cared....
I know a quick way to loose 90+ kg... tell him to shape up. Maybe get some couples councilling. Disgraceful behaviour on your partners behalf
Try the keto diet....it is amazing and has great food and i know everyone that has done it has succeded...also ecersice is a must i believe...have u heard of kayla instines? I have done her at home exercises and i have stunned myself the changes i have made....she is $20 a month or $130 a year....its hard work.but its doable..its 28min x 3 a week workouts and can be done in the home....you go get that awesome body and point that finger right back at your hubby....xx
She’s lost 3kg in 3 weeks which is HUGE. She doesn’t need to do anymore than she is.
Your partner is the one person who should support you, and if he's not doing that then you don't need him around. He's acting like a spoilt child not an adult.
I am literally the size of a house (160kg) and my husband says nothing other than how much he loves and adores me.
You need a new husband.
He’s emotionally abusive. Even at my heaviest - 160kg my husband would never speak to me like that. He was definitely concerned about my health but would always tell me he loved me no matter what.
If you want to stay with him you need to tell him how hurtful and abusive his comments are. If he won’t listen to you then you both need to go and speak to a psychologist so they can help him listen and understand how much damage he’s causing.
It’s not ok.
You haven’t done anything wrong.
Sending you love and light xx
Drop the hubby! When my hubby and I got together I was a fitness fanatic. He is attracted to very fit women. I am now overweight, he doesn’t make me feel like crap for it. I’d drop his ass if he did.
I will literally help you move and take care of your children. He’s a f***ing C**T and doesn’t deserve you. Reply here and I will post without anon so you can contact me.
💜😭
OMG!!! That's not love, that's abuse. Men don't treat people they love like that. Narcissisits treat woman they are using like that though. If you are with a narcissistic you will no doubt have PTSD. Research Narsisisitic Personality Disorder see if he ticks the boxes. If so, RUN. You cannot fix them. They get worse with age
I'm so sorry that you have discovered your husband has a really ugly side to him, that despite being an unlovable jerk, you still do love him and are trying to please him. Thyroid issues suck big time. I have battled with hashimotos since puberty, and have learned to accept that loosing weight put on from having kids takes a lot more time and effort than would normally be expected. I have been having extra difficulties since having my fourth child due to the fact that I have irreparably damaged my knees while on an overnight hike with my hubby so I could try and loose some weight while having some kid free quality time.
My baby has just turned 5 yrs old and I'm still 15kg above what I would be okay with. Only this year (now that the kids are all at school) has my hubby asked how he can help me shift the weight. As a family, we are now all on a healthy eating plan and I go to Aqua-fit twice a week. Is it worth putting hubby on the spot and asking him what he is willing to do to help you achieve your goals (not his idea of what you should look like, but what is healthy and achievable for you.) If he is unwilling to 'man-up' and help you instead of handing out harsh criticisms without solutions, I would suggest seeking out some couples counseling so you can learn to communicate your needs and wants to each other better.
My hat is off to you for loosing 3kg in 3 weeks. I am positively envious as I've never achieved such quick results (the best I've ever done was get violently ill for a week and loose 1kg. Usually I can average half that if I'm super dedicated.) Whatever you and your medical team are doing, keep up the fantastic work! It is obviously paying off! Always remember you are doing this for you. You can't pour from an empty cup, make sure you are filling your cup first then focus on being the awesome mummy your baby needs you to be right now. If hubby figures it out, he'll realise soon enough that what you are doing is going to benefit him in the long run too, but he needs to pull his head in and start showing you the respect you deserve!