I hope this makes sense.. I recently left a DV relationship and moved to be closer to my family but I’ve found that I’m not happy here. Although I wasn’t happy in my relationship I was still happy where I was living (hope that makes sense), my problem is though that my kids are just getting settled again after moving and if I was to move back where we were it would mean unsettling them all over again. I know members of my family wouldn’t approve but a lot of them as much as they try to pretend to be there for me they’re really only seeing what they can benefit from me and are trying to control my life. Moving also means I would be going back to where my ex’s family are (they’re not my biggest fans and my ex no longer lives here) but this is the only place that has truly felt like home in years.
I guess I’m just after some advice or even experiences on what you would/have done in this situation. Thanks
2 Replies
Think carefully about why you left. Was there nobody there to help and suppprt you?
What do you miss or want out of going back?
Have you really thought through the event of having to coparent with his whole family having frequent contact with the kids.
Could you move far enough away from your family that they don't interfere but are there to help when you need it?
You can make anything work, just make sure you're moving forward because if you're not, you'll need to move away again eventually and that's no good for your kids. Sometimes it's better just to miss certain things but to stay away?
First off - are you sure your family trying to control your life? Or are they concerned for your's and the kid's well-being considering you just left a DV realtionship?
I think if you were my sister I would be very opposed to you moving back to the town where you suffered and woulkd want you where I could easily support you and the kids.
As for your old town, what was it that made it feel "like home"? Did you have a fabulous group of friends and support network? Did you have a great job there?
I think unsettling the kids under the circumstances isn't great
And moving back where his family is, in the long term will make you miserable.