Hi everyone, not sure if I need to vent or I need some advice, I have been on the page for a while, often comment to help others but have never asked for help myself.
One of my teens is currently seeing the GP and a social worker/youth worker for possible depression. There is a family history on the dads side that means it could be a number of other things including Bipolar.
I keep reminding myself that when she has a go at me it is not personal, that she is struggling with a lot at the moment. But I don't know if I can continue keeping a stiff upper lip about it all. Last night I came into my room put headphones on and music just to drown it all out. Hubby asked what was wrong, but he doesn't get it either, he thinks she is just being a moody ass teen and needs to pull her head in. I am currently trying to be there for someone else who is having some major issues, but trying to be a great friend, a mum, wife and all the rest is really starting to overwhelm me.
I do have some me time to try and stay on top of my mental health and well-being, but at the moment I could tune it all out for a month and it wouldn't be enough. Some days I just want to look at my daughter and tell her to get over herself but I know it won't help.
Last night when I got grumpy over people not helping with the laundry I was promptly told by her that I needed to stop getting angry with everyone over stupid shit, just cause I'm in a bad mood I shouldn't shove it on everyone else. Asking for the 5th time in an hour for school uniforms to be put in the wash is hardly reason to be sugary sweet and polite.
Sorry, certainly more of a rant, but I appreciate you reading this <3 any pearls of wisdom greatly appreciated, this mumma is really really lost at the moment. All I want to do is cry :'(
2 Replies
Hey mumma! First and foremost look after your mental wellbeing. I know you mention trying to be there for someone else having major issues, are they immediate family? If not, take a step back which is okay to do and put your family as a priority.
If they don't put school uniforms out, SUFFER they get to wear dirty clothes to school. If they're not in the laundry by 12pm Saturday, they need to either do it themselves or wear stinky clothes.
Make consequences too, have a chart up on what everyone needs to do for organisational reasons and if it isn't done, hide the TV remote or turn internet off and take the cable. Then it comes back when they've completed jobs.
Mental health issues do not excuse poor behaviour- if your daughter is rude to you pull her up on it! Letting her get away with being rude isn't going to help her get better in the long run either. Keep your expectations high! Also you may need to consider how available you are to help someone else as well - there is nothing wrong with saying to your friend that while you are happy to catch up and be there for her that you are needing to pull back a little for your own sanity. You have to look after yourself before you can look after anyone else!