Help!
Right now I’m the snappy mum that is always yelling at her kids and feeling guilty about it afterwards. How do I get out of the rut I seem to be stuck in?
I’m a single mum of 3 wonderful little girls and I know how lucky I am, but I just don’t feel it lately.
I feel like I’m failing at everything at the moment and I don’t know how to get back on track.
Failing at life!
Failing at life!
Posted in:
Self Care, Parenthood Guilt
3 Replies
Me too. I can’t offer help I’m in need of it myself
The only thing I can suggest that I’ve noticed helps a little is ‘don’t forget you time, do something you enjoy’
Mine is music, loud, in the car, singing like no one is watching. I lived with the wiggles for 2 years on repeat and forgot what real music was and how it made me feel. Bought a new car with speakers and holy Toledo it’s great!
I know this sounds like really obvious advice but just stop. I speak with some experience here.
A raised voice can be a helpful parenting tool but it loses its impact if yelling is your go to. Consistent yelling just perpetuates the stressful chaotic enenvironment to so the pattern of behaviour on everyone's part just continues in the same cycle.
When you feel like you're getting to that point of yelling out of frustration and like you're losing control, If the kids are safe remove yourself from the situation and take a 2 minute breather. If a safety issue needs to be addressed first, remove the kid from the danger and again go take a minute then come back to deal with it once you've calmed down.
But don't beat yourself up if you lose your cool now and again, we're only human!
I don't know how old your girls are but having clear expectations and consistent consequences for poor behaviour is really helpful. I've also found with my really headstrong, boundary pushing 10 year old daughter is that she responds 100 times better to positive reinforcement than punishment. So the more I praise her, encourage and give recognition to the good behavior or something kind or thoughtful she did, the better her behaviour is and she seems to take a lot of pride in herself. This obviously makes everyone feel more calm and reduces the need for punishments - it just keeps the whole vibe more positive.
Definitely try and prioritise some you time too, as they say, it's impossible to give from an empty cup!
Time to do something for you! Change things up a little. Join a gym, club, social group and take some time away from your life as a mum.