My son is 16. He has high functioning autism and is intellectually impaired
About 12 months ago I caught him watching some soft porn whilst in the loungeroom (myself and his siblings were either sitting in the loungeroom or coming and going from the room) I was obviously upset with him that he was watching inappropriate content in the company of his siblings though they could not see the screen. I had a discussion with him about it being inappropriate to watch it in the loungeroom with others around. I thought that was the end of the issue. Tonight I caught him watching more explicit porn again in the loungeroom with the screen out of view, but again his siblings and myself were in the room. We had a massive argument about it again and I have now banned his technology time after school until further notice. I dont know how else I can get the message across that this behavior isnt acceptable. I know teens looking up porn is common in this day and age, but there is a time and a place for everything. Has anyone been through this and can offer advice?
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2 Replies
My son is autistic with a severe intellectual disability. He had some issues around only masturbating in private.
It took about six months of solid effort to get him to understand the ‘bedroom’ only.
From experience, you need a proactive plan. Reactive is ok but you’ll always be correcting him rather than him learning to self manage.
Firstly parental controls! You clearly have control over the internet and phone etc, so put parental controls on the internet and devices until you have a better plan!
What has worked in the past? Social stories? It’s probably a good time to touch base with a psychologist who can help with strategies.
If it was me, every single time he has technology time, it would be on the condition he stays in his room for now.
We’ve had exactly the same issue. Our teenage son with ASD watching porn and masturbating under his blankets while his brother (completely oblivious) played Xbox at the end of the bed. It wasn’t the first time he was caught with explicit material, but was the worst. The lack of impulse control and boundaries makes it a massive battle. We’ve tightened up controls on technology, had discussions about appropriate time and place keeping language consistent, and enlisted the help of his psychologist on the issue. We’ve always maintained that we can’t do that except in private so neither can they, and that tends to make them go “eww, Muuum!” At the same time it’s still expressing that it’s normal and everyone does it, just in the appropriate place.