Hi ladies I am really struggling at the moment I am 4 months post having my son and also have two daughter's, 5 and 9.
I feel like every day is a struggle, I am constantly in a state of high anxiety and then when that subsides I feel so depressed and just want to crawl into bed and cry. I beat myself up constantly because I feel like i am not spending quality time with any of the kids and I am just irritated all the time. I feel selfish because my son is a perfect sleeper but I can't sleep. i wake with a sense of dread every morning and find it so hard to relax. I have had some pretty awful panic attacks that didn't start until my son was a month old. I am also finding that in the 10 days prior to my period my anxiety is through the roof.
I don't remember the hormones affecting me so much after I had my girls and just wondered if anyone has been through something similar and can tell me this will end and I won't always feel like this? And does anyone have some strategies to get through this time?
On a side note I have been to the GP and was diagnosed with low iron + low vitamin d so I am on supplements for both, i started taking them a month ago so thought I would've seen some improvement already. I also have hashimotos diseases that I am unmedicated for as my levels are within range and the doctor says I should be having no symptoms. I did have all these things rechecked in a couple of months. I also see a psychologist once a fortnight.
Thanks so much for all the advice in advance.
9 Replies
Iron can take months to correct. Are you taking vitamin c to help absorb the iron? Took me 6 months to be in normal range, but I was still on the lower range of normal. Once that got better, I started to feel better!
Youre not alone in feeling like this. I was fine after my daughter, but not after my son. My hormones were all out of whack for 15 months, hes 18 months now and i feel ok.
I found exercise helped a the most out of everything I tried.
the iron tablets I am taking have vitamin c in them and also b vitamins which my doctor says is good for depression. Did you get low blood pressure with your low iron? I have almost fainted a couple of times which makes me feel supwr anxious especially when it is just the baby and I home.
Thanks for your reply it is nice to know someone else has been where I am and has gotten through it.
If you feel like you may pass out Id be scheduling another appt with the gp asap!
My blood pressure has always been on the lower side, so when my levels were low it was worse.
For the first half of my pregnancy i had low iron with my son. I passed out in peak hour traffic driving home from work (luckily no accident happened and we were safe).
Definitely call that doctor.
Oh wow glad to hear we were ok! That sounds so scary. I have spoken to the gp about the lightheadedness unfortunately it just goes hand in hand with low iron so I have to ride it out.
If the iron levels are taking a wee while to work, ask your GP for an iron infusion instead. You’ll feel better quicker and your levels will increase faster.
I believe you can also get an injection for low vitamin d? But could be wrong in this regard.
Would you consider anti anxiety medication as an option (breastfeeding would be dependent on what you can take, but if you’re not breast feeding that would open what the GP could offer) it doesn’t have to be for the long term, but to get you through right now while you work with your psychologist for support to better manage what’s going on for you in your world.
Did you discuss the possibility of postnatal depression outside of the other medical issues? I believe it is treated differently with different medication if all the mental health symptoms come from PND and not an anxiety issue itself.
You really will get through this.
Do you have support? Family? Friends? If so talk to them about your struggles right now and see if they can help. Don’t stress to much about a messy house or doing everything right. As parents we’re probe to messing up and that’s okay. Just keep on loving your kids and as time goes on with the right support it will get better.
Just focus on one thing at a time, even if it’s getting down and playing with the kids for 10-15mins. If that’s all your mentally able to do that’s okay! Extend the time as needed in 5min intervals.
House messy? Look at a cleaner if you can afford it to take some of the pressure off. If you can, do the basics. Kids don’t care if the house is messy or not. I know when I had my son I just aimed to wash the clothes and throw them into dryer, because seriously that’s all I could mentally manage. I’d rely heavily on the slow cooker too for meals as I’d put it on in the morning when I wasn’t so depleted.
Good luck honey you’ve got this!! 👌
Thank you for all the suggestions I will definitely look at all those things.
unfortunately I can't have an infusion as I'm allergic!!
I would rather not take medication, i feel for myself mentally if I can get through it without I will be able to handle any long term anxiety better.
Oh wow! Didn’t know you could be allergic to them! Learn something new every day!
Yeap medication is absolutely a personal choice, which I completely respect ✊
FYI when my iron is low (which is very often) my blood pressure is always low with it and yes I’ve passed out a few times because of it. I did find for myself eating small meals throughout the day instead of 3 main meals helped me a heap, along with the iron supplements. Personally I found the liquid iron supplements are better and more effective for me as they seem to absorb faster than the tablets do 🤷🏻♀️
Yep unfortunately I am 😣 it's super rare! In the past my iron usually goes up pretty quickly on the supplements just doesn't feel like it is having the same affect this time, maybe I'll give the liquid form a go.
Thanks for response as well it had definitely made me feel more normal that others experience the same symptoms of me.
So sorry you are feeling this way. Is there another GP you can go and see and/or a counsellor at a women’s health centre or your church (if you go).
In those moments of crushing depression, I just try to do one thing. Sometimes it’s just make the bed. Don’t be afraid to just call lifeline or beyond blue and have a chat. They can help with strategies and point you in the right direction