Possible trigger warning, I had a bad childhood of abuse, neglect, you name it its happened.
Ive grown up feeling like I need validation/ approval in all aspects of my life.
I've been having nightmares on and off for years. One in particular is when I was thrown in the boot of a car after wetting myself after I was hit multiple times from my father. I was 4!
I've never hit my kids, but I have raised my voice. My oldest said he was scared of me. Which triggered in my head that I've turned out like my father. I don't want to be like him or have my kids scared of me like I was of him. How Do I stop my self from reacting poorly to little things he does...
1 Replies
Counselling for you to help deal with your childhood trauma!
I had a pretty shit childhood myself, physically, mental, emotional and sexual abuse.
When my kids were much younger I yelled, screamed and smacked (open hand never with an object) and hated being that mum. When I started to get help for me (before I messed my kids up, like I felt I was) I found all of that negative parenting went away.
None of my kids (eldest 17 almost 18) remember the last time they were smacked (I do) nor when I really yelled at them. Sure I still *growl* but mostly if you ask my kids when I am mad I’m not scary and it’s all within normal and appropriate for the situation.
Remember though, no parent is perfect. We still get mad and yell but it’s about making sure if you’re in the wrong you say sorry and show your kids you’re still human and love them.
Never be afraid to apologise to them when you’ve done wrong, and always explain why you reacted the way you did and promise to do better next time.