How do you make it work as a single parent. My husband moved out 2 months ago. It was a mutual decision after many years of the same crap. I'm on my own away from my family or any support. I've had early stage cancer and will be having major surgery soon so I've got a bit on my plate.
My MIL is hounding me to 'catch up'. She told me that she wants to know about the break up. I can't deal with that right now and I'm pissed that I'm being put in this position. We don't have a close relationship at all and never have. I know she blames me but really her son has never helped or supported me and makes me more stressed.
I want to move but my kids are happy here. I just feel shit about everything then she adds to it.
I feel like I've failed the kids.
I don't know how to work this all out. I work full time in a stressful job and with mental health issues and 2 young kids I am really being tested on how strong I am!
Any advice would be great.
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6 Replies
I’d message my MIL and say
I would love to remain in contact with you, however I will not be dishing the dirt on why we broke up. Your son knows the reasons and that’s enough. I wish him and you all the best in the future.
If she can’t respect that then BLOCK her! You don’t owe her shit.
It’s only been two months and I imagine still quite raw. Your MIL is likely feeling a loss - whether you two were close or not- you may mean more to her then you think. Maybe catch up with her but tell her talk of your marriage is off topic. She might be worried about her role of grandparent being jeopardised too. As far as being a single mum goes- it’s hard but it’s true that it gets easier. Structure and routine is great for you and your kids. Self care is essential to make sure you don’t become emotionally depleted. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed for quite a while yet - it gets better
You’re gonna get though this. You’re not a bad person and you haven’t failed your kids. Don’t see the MIL if you don’t want to. No reason to accept her ‘support’ now if she never supported you before.
My husband and I separated over 12 months ago and the first 3-6 were the hardest. The kids took it reasonably well and we have a good relationship but I second guessed my decision and struggled with becoming a single parent.
I don’t regret it now though and I’m happier. I have no close family but a few friends and the ex has helped out. I’ve stayed working full time and muddled through. It’s tiring doing it all but it’s worth it.
Tell you MIL that if she wants info about your split she needs to ask her son. You don’t owe her an explanation - especially if you are not close. That’s just weird.
If I were you I would move back closer to your family. If your ex husband is no help and you’re far away from support when you need it most then move back.
You haven’t failed your kids. It’s no fun growing up with angry parents. I know that for a fact.
Good luck with your surgery - I hope it all goes well for you. Xx
Tell you MIL that if she wants info about your split she needs to ask her son. You don’t owe her an explanation - especially if you are not close. That’s just weird.
If I were you I would move back closer to your family. If your ex husband is no help and you’re far away from support when you need it most then move back.
You haven’t failed your kids. It’s no fun growing up with angry parents. I know that for a fact.
Good luck with your surgery - I hope it all goes well for you. Xx
Your happiness is important too... If you can, please move closer to your family