Hi all
I'm sometimes a bit at a loss when it comes to disciplining my child, she is 4.
I want her to learn to appreciate things and look after things. But when do you stop and let things slip? I could let things go all the time but i will get up the kids for leaving toys in the garden or like today, the neighbour kids came over and scraped out all the eyeshadow and lip gloss out of her make up box, that she loves using.
They all had great fun doing it and I was a bit at a lurdge Wether I should let them play or Wether I should tell them that that's not what it's for and that they should appreciate things?
All the nailpolish was left out without lids and I just kindly told them to pack it all up and put the lids on everything. Am I being to picky?
Will it even do anything to say something now? And when do you let things go for the fun? I don't want to be the person thats the fun killer but want to teach her at the same time that money isn't endless and that we should look after what we have.
4 Replies
Umm constantly! 4 is a good age I think. Of course pick your battles, as in when is there not enough time not enough head space, time to just have fun and let loose, or whatever pick ya battles. But yep constant reminders. Things for me that are always constant are simple things like manners please, thank you, may I. Table manners. Thanking the cook ect which i think is appreciating things. Look.kids wreck stuff all the time , Haha for me it's about weighing up if they are being simply disrespectful little turds or just kids being kids 🤷♀️
It’s kids make-up and nail polish I’d let go as long as they aren’t destroying the house with it. It’s usually very cheap to replace. I’d count them as ‘consumables’. Also using something and not getting it replaced and having to do without for awhile is all part of learning. So I’d rather they learnt that skill with a cheaper item than an expensive one.
Toys outside, we just have pack up time when it starts to cool down (usually around 4:30 here). Unless it’s a wet weather day.
Certain special toys (family heirlooms etc) are put out of reach on play dates.
At 4 you need to remind them to pack away, if they refuse that's when you take it away because they're not caring for it.
Makeup, if you don't want it wrecked don't let them play, you could tell them it's special so you'll do it and they can pick the colours or you can let them at it but know it'll get wrecked. You can definitely remind them to finish one thing and put the lid back on nicely before starting the next.
I normally let things go for fun when it's something out in the backyard so I don't care about the mess.
I think it's good you're asking, if you're picking at them all the time, fun free play is important so make sure that happens, but you get to choose what gets used or wrecked.
To be honest some days I do just let them go knowing thqt thing will get wrecked just because it keeps them busy & happy & that's how they do it. Of course that can't be all the time, or never, just find a nice balance.
Ok so my girls are 8 and 10.
Even they don't have free access to make up and nail polish whenever they want. They need to ask me first because i keep it packed away, they may play make up in the bathroom with my permission and nail polish is only used at the table with my supervision.
I'm all for that type of creative play but it is completely unrealistic to expect small children to show restraint with all that sparkly amazing stuff, so if that's not something you want getting all used up or damaged, put it away and only get it out when it suits you.
That aside, I think part of the reason kids these days lack gratitude and appreciation is because they're overwhelmed with stuff.
When I was a kid, I had a handful of toys that I treasured. Kids these days have entire toyrooms full, so if something gets broken or lost - eh, whatever, there's still a hundred other things to play with.
So I really think that to teach kids to value and take care of their belongings, limiting the amount of stuff they have is really helpful.
Also remember that she's only 4, she's going to need reminding and she'll need you to lead by example.