Hormonal and unreasonable or Reasonable
I am struggling to think rationally.
My partner has a wedding to attend 6 hours away, for a 3 days... its inportant to him and he was asked to be apart of the wedding party. I am also due to have our first child and wasn't given doctors clearance to leave due to complications. There isn't a hospital safe enough to deliver in close by to the wedding.
I am not going.. and he hasn't considered not and is definitely going.
I am feeling really angry at him.
29 Replies
How far along will you be while he is gone
Are you due at or around the week of the wedding?
Is going into early labour a very real possibility?
Will attending this wedding truly risk him missing the birth of his child?
If yes to the above, he's being a massive jerk. Your health and the arrival of baby is trumps a wedding any day of the week, I don't care how important!
If it's a no to the above, I would straight up say no to 3 days. That's unnecessary. He could drive up the day of and return home the next morning. That's about as far as I'd be willing to compromise though!
All of this!
You would say no? Is he 12? If it’s not to any of those questions then she is being a melodramatic drama queen. She’s pregnant not disabled. He is an adult and as long as there is no threat to her health or the child being born she has no right to tell him he isn’t “allowed” to do something
While I agree, she can’t make him stay home and he is not a child. I’d have serious questions about my partners priorities and our future if he did go.
So he isn’t meant to leave her side for 9 months? If there is no immediate risk then there is no reason he can’t go away for a few days and enjoy a very special occasion. It’s obviously very important to him
Ffs 🙄 under normal circumstances, sure do what you like mate...
She clearly is experiencing a high risk pregnancy and nearing the end of it, any unnecessary travel on his part is selfish at this point.
So yeah, if I were in this position I'd be saying "No, I don't want you to go for 3 days". Of course he's an adult free to make his own choices but the choice he does end up making would be very telling...
Christ, can you people read?
I said 3 days was unnecessary not that he shouldn't be able to go at all assuming there's no risk of baby arriving whilst he's away.
Travelling to the wedding on the day and returning home the next seems like a good compromise given the circumstances, but by all means ladies, continue telling the OP she's unreasonable without offering any solutions...
It's a 6 hrs drive and he was asked to be in it. That means he is going up the day before so that he's there to get ready in the morning and probably driving home the day after the wedding.
Yeah I think you’re being unreasonable! As long as he stays sober enough to come at the drop of the hat I think there’s no issues. I’m 34 weeks and wasn’t given clearance to go away this long weekend for the same reasons.. complications and no hospital nearby. Hubby still going and no issues here.
I think it all depends. I mean I don't think my partner would risk it but that's if it's was extreamly close to my due date.
Chances of going over due date are high, chances of going before he even leaves are too...
I'd just tell him to be prepared to leave if he needs to.
God, if your like this before the baby is even here I would hate to imagine how you will be once you have a newborn
How is this helpful?
Given the fact that she hasn’t actually said what’s wrong with her, how far along she is, how likely she is to go into labour while he is gone, is this an all the time thing or a one off special family event or if it’s her first child. Nobody can actually give any good advice. She has written it in a way that makes her husband out to be a horrible, unreliable twat talkative doesn’t care about her or his child, when I highly doubt that’s the car at all
Ah, I see.
Since there's not enough information we can all be callous and insensitive. Got it!
There definitely could be one of 2 different scenarios going on here.
There could be a multitude of possible scenarios going on here, none of which we can really speculate on. Does the OP not deserve respectful replies regardless?
Oh it's not that bad. If she's highly strung it's an appropriate reply.
If she's highly strung due to fear of her complicated pregnancy, this is terrible actually. Why dump on someone who is vulnerable?
calm down
Far out, a little empathy wouldn't go astray here guys!
I can remember feeling quite vulnerable towards the end of my pregnancies and I had text book experiences.
I imagine pregnancy complications, a fast approaching due date and a partner who wants to go away for 3 days to a place that's 6 hours away would be quite anxiety inducing.
Exactly
Unfortunately, you live and learn about who you've had a baby with. If he happily goes for 3 days while you're due or even 2 or 3 weeks before, if he gets munted and can't call or Is useless if he was called, if he goes and has no contact the entire time... You can't control him, but when he shows you his true colors, you pay attention.
But if it's 6 months out and every things looking good, he stays in touch, there shouldn't be an issue and that's your hormones feeling sad and missing him, let him know but don't take it out on him. It's important, it's a one off, it's a wedding, he should go.
Laughing my arse off at all of you conspiracists. 🤣🤣
I'd be ok with this as long as you're both on the same page as to what is going to happen if you go into labour
From around 36 to 37 weeks (considered full term) I asked my partner to not be too far away and to be available at all times (ie. Answer his phone, not get so drunk that he couldn't drive or be helpful etc).
Good thing too, because all my babies were born within 2 hours of my first contraction!
So everyone saying "as long as he can come home at any time" 6 hours of travel really is cutting it fine if she happened to go into labour and I think the OPs apprehension is pretty valid if she's due in the near future.
You both really need to sit down, consider all the extenuating circumstances and figure out if there's a compromise.
If your pregnancy is/has been unpredictable.
If you'll be in the last few weeks of your pregnancy at the time of the wedding.
If you don't have any other support/means for assistance should you need it.
If you have a history of quick births.
If you're at a higher risk of birth complications.
If baby is likely to need medical assistance once born.
☝️ Under those sort of circumstances, he really shouldn't be going.
Ask that he stays sober in case he has to drive home, tell him that if you go into labour while he is away you will tell him at the first sign of labour but will not communicate anymore after that unless he's there in person. So if he misses his babies birth that's his problem you don't need to do any cute video links for his fuck up. 6 hours should be long enough to get his ass back in time for baby if it's your first pregnancy but some women are quicker than that. If females in your family have quick natural labours then your chances of a quick labour is higher. My first was only 2.5 hours.
I’m in cairns, my ex went to a wedding in Sydney when I was pregnant, I had no issues, from memory I was about six months.
Depends how far along you are as to whether you are being unreasonable or not.
I drove to a wedding 7 hours away at 38 weeks pregnant and was a part of the wedding party. My OH was trying so hard for me not to be a part of it and to stay home and rest. He of course came with me but I was adamant that I was going. We stayed 2 nights and drove home again. It was like a mini baby moon. You don’t say exactly how far along you will be on the day of the wedding. I feel for you but if you do go into labour he’ll need to drive like a bat outta hell to get to you.