My teenage son (13.5 yrs) bought a parrot with his own money, and our ‘ok’ about 1.5 years ago now. To start with they were best buddies, soent heaps of time together, they bonded really well and they were both very happy.
As time has gone on though, my son has lost all interest, he doesn’t do anything for the bird at all, he is even a bit frightened of him now, as the bird bit him a couple of times (springtime - the bird can get a bit hormonal, so I put it down to that).
The part that’s doing my head in about this lack of interaction is that the bird screams ALL. DAY. LONG.
I’m an at home mum and it is torture for myself, and I’m sure for the bird too. I can not describe how insane it makes me feel. By the end of the day any little thing can set me off as my nerves just feel shot. My son, of course, is at school so even though I try to describe it to him, he has no idea.
Even though I love animals, birds are not my forte, but regardless, I have done everything I can for this bird for the past year now. Clean cages, baths, food, fresh chopped up foods daily, water etc. I know as a mum it kind of ends up being our job, but with this incessant screaming I have to endure daily, plus the lack of interest my son shows, I’m torn as to what to do.
I would normally just put my foot down and say we’re selling the bird, but I feel my son would never forgive me. Plus it was his money that paid for it to begin with. I also understand that he’s a teenager and this attitude/lack of responsibility is kind of to be expected. He doesn’t have any extra curricular activities, and even homework is a non entity.
Between my everyday sanity and most probably breaking my son’s heart, what do I do?
Any advice? Please? I’m desperate!
(and please no negative comments re: rehoming animals. I feel if an animal is also unhappy in its environment, as this bird is by it’s escalation in his screaming daily, then it’s also in it’s best interest to try to find it a better home).
8 Replies
Don't just chalk up irresponsibility and disinterest as typical teen behaviour, if you start justifying it it'll transcend into other areas of his life - school, work, family expectations etc.
Getting a pet is a life long commitment, he made that commitment when he chose to spend his money on said bird.
So, I would give him 2 options if he were my son.
1. Bird gets rehomed, and paid forward (ie, not sold), the financial loss being part of the lesson.
Or
2. Should he not want to rehome the bird, he must start feeding it daily, cleaning out it's cage regularly and start trying to regain a bond with the bird. Should he start slacking on his responsibility to the bird again, bird needs to be rehomed to someone who has the time to ensure he has a good quality of life.
I know it's hard to motivate 13 - 14 year old boys but teaching our teenagers responsibility is so important, sometimes being responsible means making hard choices.
Good luck
He shouldn't be made to give it away. Financial loss is not a necessary lesson here
Do the right thing to find it a good home whatever that is. It most likely won't be making or recouping money.
Look, I'm just saying how I'd tackle this situation. I know that the lesson would be lost on my son (who's a similar age) if he were to sell the bird, the cage and accessories etc. He'd have cash in his pocket again, the noisy pet he lost interest in/failed to care for would be forgotten about since it was no longer a problem. What does he learn there?
So I feel that by giving the bird away he learns not to waste his money on something he's not fully committed to and it's a way of owning his mistake should he choose not to start making a bigger effort in terms of caring for and being responsible for the bird.
So it's probably bored and horny. Birds are really smart, they need stimulation. They are also very social so if they aren't getting love from their human friends it needs some bird friends. You can't just have one bird in a cage all day, that is cruel. Our pet weiro is never in his cage, he can fly all through the house. He loves to sit in front of the mirror and just chats away to his "girlfriend". I want to get him a real girlfriend one day. He does scream a bit but it's only when he can hear flocks of corellas outside. What kind of parrot is it? Have a chat to your son about its needs and if the screeching doesn't improve then the bird will be better off with someone who has more time with it and can give it a bit of freedom.
I’d seek support from a professional who has an in-depth knowledge of birds.
Record the bird for the day and make your son watch it. Then take the bird and your son to a consultation with the professional.
Make it clear that if the your son doesn’t step up the bird will be rehomed, for the benefit for the bird. Start researching experienced bird owners to rehome the bird to and make sure your son knows you are doing it.
If that’s not enough to get him motivated the bird needs to go for its own sanity.
Have you tried opening the cage and letting him loose in the house sometimes. I'd say hes noisy cos hes bored and unstimulated. The thing with kids and pets is the more you nag the less they care but the more you love and praise the animal the more they do too.
OP here:
I’d like to thank everyone for their time to give their thoughts.
Firstly the bird is very spoilt, he’s out of his cage almost all day hours, and with people as often as possible. When my son is in school, I am home most days, so he’s rarely ‘alone’. As for the he’s ‘horny and bored’ his behavior doesn’t stop even after the spring season. As for boredom I’ve tried everything, foraging activities, natural branches, toys, tv/music on etc. He is not interested at all despite trying over and over.
Secondly We’ve had a result...
I sat my son down to talk to him. I took the advice and did a chart up of all the responsibilities required to look after the bird properly himself (he is already aware, but I wanted him to see I was stepping right back from bird duties). I said similar to above comments: he needs to be responsible to the bird either by spending time/effort to redevelop a languishing relationship or he would need to give him a happy home elsewhere.
He decided to rehome him (for no money, vetted many many people... and we have been so thankful and very lucky to find him the best home. A young woman who has a few other parrots, the most incredible set up, the correct knowledge to look after him and most importantly - the assurance that he will never be rehomed again. It has been hard, with a lot of tears but we know he’s going to live a happy and content life.