So my in laws have been getting up me for how I organise chores for my kids and pocket money
I don’t believe in kids getting pocket money for helping around the house doing housework, we all live in the house and therefore we all need to contribute. Now if the kids do extra things like wash out the wheelie bin, wash the car, mow the lawn, work in the garden etc my partner and I pay them for each job, with each job having a different value.
Things our kids are expected to do is keep their room clean, food and put away washing, wash and dry dishes, vacuum when asked, take the rubbish out and feed the cat,
Today my in laws bought up the fact our kids don’t have a set amount of pocket money and that we are teaching them incorrectly, have I done the wrong thing? My kids are 12 and 15 and have done this their whole lives
Obviously when they were younger we helped them with the extra jobs and they still got paid, my in laws said I should be paying them for doing stuff around the house, I’m just so confused
10 Replies
Your in laws sound over involved! The only opinions that matter are yours and your husbands!
The 15 year old is old enough to get a job if he is concerned about having more money.
I would set it up exactly the same as you.
Many people would consider the 15 year old lucky to get paid to do the extras! My parents never paid me just because I did the basics either, I’m not damaged, in fact it prepared me for adulthood, there isn’t anyone paying me to do household jobs!
My 15 year old can’t work unfortunately we live in an area where the only work is a bus ride away and as we work shifts it’s not always possible to pick him up so he’s happy to do extra jobs to earn money, and most of the extra jobs are $10-15 each
My kids are little 8,6,3,2 but they all have chores and they all help. My oldest two have asked my I don’t give them pocket money for doing chores because apparently their friends get coins for helping. I have told them that I will not be paying them for helping keep the house clean that we ALL live in. They don’t pay me for washing their clothes and scrubbing their toilet so I’m not going to pay them for the jobs they do. I feel it’s teaching them that they are responsible for their mess and how to keep a home meaty and tidy. I would love to be paid for the house work I do but in reality that’s just not how it works
It's none of their business how you and your husband do pocket money. I didn't get any pocket money as a kid and it wasn't until I got a job at 14 that I had my own money. I would ask your husband to tell his family yo butt out and not discuss it with them.
Who cares what they think. I do the same as you, it works for us.
I agree with you. They really could be moving out in the blink of an eye. No one will pay them to clean up after themselves
I’m with your in laws on this topic, however that’s how I parent and it doesn’t mean that it’s right or wrong! They sound way too invested and should mind their own business.
In my view, we have children because we want to bring them into this world and I don’t believe in charging board or expecting them to do jobs just because (I’m a bit old school house wife honestly, despite me also working full time). By all means they must be tidy and respectful, however I think prior to 18 they shouldn’t have too much expected of them. I pay mine a set amount per week. As they get older, if they’d like extra money to go see a movie or go shopping, then of course they can earn it or get a job :)
"I appreciate you taking the time to give me your input but I'm quite happy with my approach thanks".
☝️That's all you need to say.
For the record, my parenting style is pretty similar to yours. I have friends who pay their kids to make their beds daily or friends who haven't really expected much at all out of their kids (then they're suddenly surprised when they end up with teenagers who are lazy and incompetent) but that's not my monkeys or my circus...
Ummm it’s none of their business.! kids should help and not be paid for it. I don’t give my kids money for cleaning up their own mess and helping me. Sometimes I get them to do different jobs and I will give them $2 or maybe $5 depending what it is and we negotiate a price first but they rarely get any money or ask for any money. I have raised them this way and that’s how I do it in my house. It works different for everyone but don’t change it just because your in-laws want you to. It’s none of their business.
I think what you are doing is perfect. You are exactly right, everyone needs to help look after the house they all live in and extra chores earn money. It’s no business of your in-laws anyway so stick to your way and back yourself 😃