I need help with my teenage daughter. I’m really not asking to be shamed for asking but I need to do something.
My daughter is 15 and has body issues. So much so, that a few months back I found that she was cutting.
She is overweight. She was 89kgs a few weeks ago. She eats more than her dad. She will always turn to junk food. And I have found a secret stash of lollies, chocolate, empty chip packets, empty soft drink bottles and more hidden in her wardrobe. She will raid the pantry and secretly take it to her room. I also think at night she is going to the cupboard.
She hasn’t had a good role model in me.
I have been extremely obese most of my life. I do blame myself for becoming this, with her seeing me as big as I was. I say was because I have recently lost 20kgs.
She now weighs more than I do. I have also now seen her tummy when her shirt has ridden up, and it’s got stretch marks. I am so worried where this is going to stop.
My pantry doesn’t contain much junk food anymore, and the food wrappers that I have found in her bedroom are things that I don’t buy.
With her having trouble in the past with cutting, I just don’t know how to approach her and speak to her about it. I know I do need to have the conversation but I don’t know how to go about it.
Can I get some advice please without anyone judging me? I
6 Replies
I dont think you necessarily need to give her some long winded talk. She is comfort eating and self harming, plain and simple she needs counseling.
I’d honestly just sit her down and start by saying “we’re ALL going on a health journey”
Do it as a family. Cook together, find local classes and start walking. Tell her YOUR ALL doing it.
Invest in a dieticians advice, and follow the dieticians recommendations.
All pick a sport, or an active hobby and begin.
It needs to be addressed and there’s no easy way to do it, other than to be there doing it with her.
Also to add, exercise and diet make a HUGE impact on mental health. It has been proven In various research journals that exercise can improve mental health
This isn’t about food. This is about her mental health? As an obese person who used to hide food myself, I wasn’t eating because I was hungry I was eating because I was struggling emotionally.
What help is she receiving for her mental health. When my mental health is on track, my eating is on track.
Start with Headspace. She's trying to fill a hole with something that won't fill it and she's feeling out of control so tries to control what she can. It's not something you've done, or if it is it wasn't deliberate so don't be shamed because you're admitting you need help for her.
And she needs it. I cut when I was younger. I was a mum at 19 and figured I should be past that shit.
I'm not, now in my 40's and I pick at my skin until it bleeds and I pick at the sores until they leave scars. I just do it where it's not visible.
You're doing the right thing getting in early.
I would start with exercise for both of you. Join a gym or a fun all ages sport. Regular exercise will get her feeling mentally happier. Make slow changes to food, don't buy cool drink or change to no sugar.