I have a newborn and a nearly 4 year old. I pulled my 4 year old out of daycare because of coronavirus and assumed I could look after them both while on maternity leave. Well it has been a week and I'm seriously struggling. My usually well behaved 4yo is acting out because of a lack of attention and stimulation. I'm becoming incredibly stressed trying to ensure my newborn's needs are met while keeping up with activities and learning that my 4yo would usually have at kindy. I'm running on very little sleep due to constant night feeds and I'm unable to nap during the day when my newborn sleeps because I have to attend to my 4yo. Would it be too irresponsible for me to send him back to kindy?
24 Replies
I know this is a hard time but your 4 year old is better off at home if you don't have to work. The newborn stage is hard for everyone who has other kids. You will get there, you all need to adjust to everything. Try a special box of things that are just for him that only comes out when you are busy with the baby. Make life easier for yourself where possible. Daycare wouldn't fix this even without corona virus being an issue, some kids go backwards when there's a new baby but he should be ok when this is all his new normal.
Anyone who can be home, should be! The less children in care/school at the moment the safer it is for the other children who have to be there and for the invaluable teachers, educators and other staff members.
It's not just about protecting them from solely from corona but other typical illnesses too. Simply because the healthcare system is under immense pressure right now so keeping as many people healthy and out of doctors offices (and hospitals) is equally as important right now.
In saying that, I fully appreciate that daycare is a big part of your support system and your mental health is something that also needs to be factored in. The isolation at the moment is really not good for anyone, especially people who are particularly vulnerable (such as new mums) and I think a lot of people are forgetting how dangerous isolation can be!
Ultimately, this is something that you need to weigh up the pros and cons of - the risks versus the benefits, considering alternative options if there are any.
Best of luck, I hope you find a solution.
I wouldn’t be sending your 4 year old. Not when you have a newborn at home. If your 4 year old caught the virus at daycare your baby would get it.
I went to a few shops and purchased a few things that didn’t cost much but ensures they have plenty to do... It is about lack of entertainment. Consequentially we already had games like UNO and board games but I purchased some paints, Hama beads, Large chalks (find some cement and just let them go... so easy to just hose off). We also got a jar and some paddle pop sticks. We wrote on them some new ideas for non social activities. Walk by the lake, scooter time, tea party, bake together, play makeup, gardening... anything really but they love to pick it out of the jar. Doesn’t have to cost a lot but is all about keeping them entertained. I’d defs keep them home in these uncertain times though personally...
Does he have an iPad?
His last one broke so I will use the stimulas money to buy a new one.
Good idea 👌
I wouldn’t. You will be sending your child to daycare with kids who’s parents are essential workers. That would include children of doctors, nurses and supermarket workers who are all at a higher risk of bringing covid home to there children.
Yes it’s hard and it’s an adjustment. But you can do this!
I am giving birth very soon to my third (I have a 6 year old and 3 year old). When my second was born I remember that my eldest (3 at the time) was a bit demanding at the start because he was working out where he sat with the new baby and the new dynamics of the home but it didn’t last long and it wasn’t very bad.
Before my second was born, I taught my son to turn on the TV himself for the morning and I kept some activities and food somewhere for him to access easily. I also included him with caring for his sister because he was “such a big boy”. He loved it and was so responsible and mature.
I’d definitely keep your 4 year old home, it’s not worth it in my opinion and I’d suggest teaching him / her to do some independent tasks when you are napping (with lots of praise). Because you didn’t do it before the bub arrived I’d make sure that you teach your 4 year old when you are well rested and do a practise-run.. e.g. “When you wake up, if mummy is still in bed I want you to... I know you’ll be able to do this because you are such a big girl / boy and you are so caring. I know you’ll want to look after the baby and me when we need sleep because you love us so much” and do a walk through with your big love.
Good luck, it will get easier. A new baby brings challenges for the whole family but everything will settle soon x
I say do whatever you need to do to survive. It’s easy to say (when it’s over and done with) to deal with it but when you are struggling each day from exhaustion then you need to do the right thing for your family.
Only you know how bad the sleep deprivation or your mental health is impacted. If your sleep deprivation is at a point where the kids may be at a risk of you driving them or a higher risk of them getting hurt then yes child care may be a better option to mitigate against this risk.
My child is at day care and we increased the kids days when we were able to. Both hubby and I are working and I’m homeschooling. We made this decision because I wanted to offer my school aged child the best opportunity for schooling and we still need the income. We could manage at home but there would be a trade-off with work and both their educational needs.
So my advice is to assess what’s the biggest risks and go from there. Good luck with whatever you decide and do what’s best for you and the family.
Tough one with our current climate.
I'd say if you needed respite, obviously your eldest needs free kicking room, so send to preschool.
Family Day Care might be a smaller less public option because you have a smaller selection of germies ro collect from.
Bored toddlers are the worst!
Yes it’s irresponsible! I’m on the front line and so is my husband. I risk exposure every day. I only send my kids because I have to work to protect the community. Why put your or my kids at further risk because you can’t manage. We have all been there... I have 3 kids under 5. It’s an adjustment period but you can do it!
I'm also on the front line. Both my 4 year old and my newborn will have to go to daycare in 14 weeks. If I send him back he is just returning earlier than he would have.
I have an 2 month old and a 2 year old. I would to send my 2 year old to daycare, so I can spend the day with my baby but I am not going risk him bringing something home to our baby. I am also keeping him home so we aren't putting more strain on frontline workers or his childcare educators
Better at home. It's better for the community if people who aren't working are home. If we keep allowing more and more children the risk increases. I feel at this rate there will be more cases and centres closing.
Better at home. It's better for the community if people who aren't working are home. I
Wish people would keep children home. I annoyed as I know many centres are screaming for you to re enrol but many of Educators are the ones exposed to the virus and your children not the head honchos self isolating in the theirs telling centres to encourage re-enrollment. This is meant to be a service for essential but now its turned into a free for all.
Wish people would keep children home. I annoyed as I know many centres are screaming for you to re enrol but many of Educators are the ones exposed to the virus and your children not the head honchos self isolating in the theirs telling centres to encourage re-enrollment. This is meant to be a service for essential but now its turned into a free for all.
Wish people would keep children home. I annoyed as I know many centres are screaming for you to re enrol but many of Educators are the ones exposed to the virus and your children not the head honchos self isolating in the theirs telling centres to encourage re-enrollment. This is meant to be a service for essential but now its turned into a free for all.
Yes it is wrong. This is what being a parent is all about. I have done it with 3 under 5 and never sent them to child care. I understand it is hard for you at the moment. But it is hard for everyone. You can decide time with for both. Put bub in a bouncer or something similar and sit with your 4 yr old and play. Your child isn’t their responsibility at this point in time. They should be with you and you only. I’m sorry but this is what parenting is all about. I am exhausted haven’t slept a full night in years but I deal with it, get on with it. I’ve been at my lowest also. I have no family help, no family around me. It’s bloody hard work but I still wouldn’t put them in child care. Especially at this point in time. Work out ways for you, to make it easier. Be tough & don’t pick bub up all the time. Dedicate time to your other child. There is ways to work around it all. Being exhausted comes with being a mum, lack of sleep, no time for yourself. Take them out for together. Find ways to do things an easier way and don’t feel bad for being tough on the kids. You need to be.
Was meant to say take them out for a walk together. Bub in pram and let little one walk & help push pram, involve him to help you.
So a week after parenting both your children your giving up and sending the older one away? I'm confused, why would you do that? Everyone that has had more than one child has gone through this. Hang in there, give yourself more than a week before you give up on your child or your parenting skills. Call on your hubby to help out more, maybe express and let him get a night feed done. But please dont give up after a week. A child is not someone that should be shipped off to daycare because they are making life difficult.
I have a 6yo immune compromised child, a 3yo and a 7week old. 2 weeks before the govt advised us to keep kids home, all of my children caught the flu. My 7 week old ended up in hospital on oxygen for 2 days. I cannot even begin to imagine what could have happened if it were covid-19.
It is incredibly full on at home at the moment. But the risks of sending my two older children back to school and childcare are far too great 😥
It’s turned into a case of prioritising everyone’s needs during the day. My older child is a Type 1 diabetic so managing his medical needs during the day and night is just the cherry on top.
You’ll be ok, just take it one day at time. It took a good month or so for my older kids to adjust to having a baby in the house. Although I’m missing the opportunity to have one on one time with my newborn, I’m now looking at it as a positive that my older kids have the opportunity to spend so much time seeing the baby grow ❤️
Wow some of these replies are very unkind. Everybody is stressed and scared and confused right now, even more so, someone with a newborn!
It sounds like you are run off your feet and extremely sleep deprived and obviously feeling very overwhelmed.
Obviously it is best for everyone to stay home if they can stay home right now. However, is there anyone else you could reach out to that may be able to come and help out for a few hours? I believe family members/friend are allowed to come over for this type reason. Maybe also have a chat with your health nurse and see what assistance may be available. You can’t pour from an empty cup and your mental/physical well-being is important, call a close friend and tell them how your feeling and see what ideas you might be able to come up with.
It seems like your doing a great job and maybe just lower your standards you expect of yourself at the moment, embrace the mess and washing piles and try and keep your cup topped up before handing out more ☺️ Xxxx