I’m a mum of two girls one is turning 5 the other is turning 3 this year and I’m now pregnant with my 3 baby I’m 19 weeks pregnant and it is not the same father as my girls and when I was 10 weeks pregnant I almost lost my kids to child safety Cos the father of the was not truthful to me and tell me that he was not meant to around kids he was ordered to leave and he did but over the past few weeks I have been thinking about giving this baby up for adoption I’m full of mix emotions about this and I have got no real family support in all this I’m doing it all on my own at the end of the day and I’m speaking with the right people about this and if it is going to be a right decision for me I will be doing it I just need a way to get my feelings out
7 Replies
Wow, what a big decision. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide.
The best advice I can give you in regards to whatever decision you make. Don’t let the ‘what if I’ or the ‘I should have’ thoughts take hold. Which ever decision you make, will be the right one, and remind yourself of that.
What a confusing time for you! I'm glad you are talking to the right people to help you make the right choice. Whatever you decide will be the right thing. I guess the babies father had been previously charged with child sexual assault for there to be an order in place? What if the order only lasts as long as his bail conditions, then you have to potentially share your child with this man? I suppose these are the things you're thinking about too and I think it's amazing you will be considering to give this baby a life that doesn't include a low life Dad. Also know though, you can still provide and love this baby without it's Dad in its life, don't put him on the birth certificate and move where he will never be able to track you down. Easier said than done I know. This will be the toughest decision of your life, good luck and know that there's no right or wrong here.
I think adoption is an awesome idea. You don’t have to use the foster care system at all, the baby can be placed with a permanent family straight away.
It’s a very loving choice 💕
Well done brave Mumma for thinking of your future and the future of your baby. If you feel that you are not in the position to care for the baby, maybe consider an open adoption? That way you can still be in the child's life while being raised by their adoptive parents.
This isn't an easy path, it will hurt, but handing over does not mean giving up, it means that you are making the best decision in your position <
I think if you can live with that decision it's not a bad one, if you keep the baby beyond the obvious of raising and financially providing for this human, you will have to navigate that with your ex who must be an interesting person if he legally can't be around kids. Audio would give this child a chance at a life where they are wanted and live and protected from their father. it's also a gift for the new family. I don't think any path is easy but you need to choose your best option
Such a hard time for you mumma.. there is always an option for a medical termination up to 20 weeks or possibly a little longer.. I know that's a taboo answer but you do have options xx
Whatever you do, don’t put his name on the birth certificate. Leave it blank.