My daughter is 16 and I’ve begun finding evidence of her binge eating. She has her own job now and has been buying and sneaking food into the house. I’ve found large packets of Tim tams and tonight an empty tub of frosting. We’re talking thousands of calories in a sitting. She has put on quite a bit of weight in the last year but nothing too out of control... yet. I am prone to weight gain and am a size 18. It took me 40 years to get there. I’m afraid my daughter will be there by 20. She loves fashion and of course is very young and I know she’s going to be unhappy one day if this continues. She is always looking for food and specially unhealthy food and now is obviously buying bad food. She doesn’t exercise or do sport and I’m getting really concerned. How do I deal with this without body shaming her? How do I get her to stop binge eating these huge amounts of calories? I’m really really concerned. Please note she is extremely stubborn and me just modelling healthy behaviour is not going to have any meaningful impact.
9 Replies
I remember eating so much crap with my friends as teenagers. We were gross. I think your best bet is to help her include a activity into her weekly routine. Nothing to do with her weight but with overall health. Not just gym that people hate and never last at. Something she enjoys, that works around her work and sleep schedule, that she actually gets joy out of doing.
Make sure her self esteem is high. Tell her you love her, and tell her she is beautiful.
This could just be about her enjoying some extra freedoms, and it may well stop on its own.
Try not to see yourself in your daughter. Just because you are unhappy at your weight, doesn’t mean she will be unhappy and doesn’t mean she won’t loose weight or not get to where you are faster.
Act body positive yourself, don’t discuss dieting or what you don’t like about your body in front of her.
Exercise because you enjoy exercising.
It’s not uncommon for teens to pudge out and then slim down.
Stay connected by having meaningful topics with your daughter about various topics. Be available to listen.
There's not much you can do now she is earning her own money. It is probably that new found freedom and independence she has and she's doing everything she couldn't do before because of lack of money. I remember doing similar. A friend of mine started drinking 4 litres of coke a day when she started working because she was never allowed to drink it before. I think you just need to let her go, keep modelling good eating and get her involved in meal planning, don't make it about calories just good, healthy food. Maybe take her out to a healthy cafe or restaurant so she gets a taste for it.
Make it about you needing support to lose some weight and eat healthy. "Lets be healthy together for a month. The one that does the best gets xxxxx".
For some reason she may be emotionally eating. Maybe speak to her and take her to the drs and get bloods done. It could also be her hormones. Get her involve in sport or go for walks with her. Join the gym with her. Talk to her about the risks and how you feel being at your weight. Explain that you don’t want her struggling like you do. Get her some professional help ask Drs.
This was me... I would eat a whole frozen cheese cake in a sitting... large bags of chips. Packets of ice creams (8 frozen yoghurt individual wrapped ones) a dozen donuts...
I have put on weight... but as I got older I was able to control it. I’m still size 16 and I still don’t eat fabulous but I’m more grown up I see what I’ve done and can limit it. Don’t think modeling the better eating won’t help. It’s all being seen. But honestly... she will need to learn on her own. I can be sure if I had been pushed and spoken too it would only make me eat more of what I wanted.
Yep, just made me hide my food better and gained more weight
I would go about it from a health angle (so as not to body shame) and try to get her to open up about why she is emotional eating. If she won’t or can’t tell u take her to a psychologist. I think u should be more concerned about why she is doing this and dealing with it before it become a life habit
See a naturopath. N acetly cysteine, magnesium and calming herbs like passionflower, zizyphus, etc.