Ok, so I have just gotten out of a horrible relationship a few months ago. My ex is in jail right now for the second time for breaching His avo. I’ve just found out I’m pregnant to him. Everyone is telling me I’m stupid to go through with it. I agree.
The thing is, I’ve been trying to have a baby for the past 6 years and haven’t had any luck. I’m older and I feel like this is my last chance to have a child. It would break my heart if I had an abortion and never fell pregnant again, but I also realise that if I go through with it that I’m going to have a hard time if the father is ever involved. Any advice or other perspectives around this would be very helpful to me. Thanks
What to do about pregnancy
What to do about pregnancy
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
15 Replies
I’m actually stumped on this one, when I usually have an strong opinion on everything on here.
How old are you? Not that it should matter, but I think it would sway me on what I would do.
Do not tell him. Seriously. As someone who has kids dad that's abusive, if i could change anything i would have never let him back into their life. It's an absolute clusterfuck it's just ongoing. My advice, if you want the baby, is to move somewhere he or his friends of family won't see you, cut them all off your social media and go ahead solo. If asked, confirm the baby's dad is known and in the picture.
When the child is grown, you can explain that the father had an avo and wasn't safe to be around and you can give details if he wishes to make contact.
Nothing worse than sharing a child with an abusive ex ...
You will always be looking over your shoulder and it will create a permanent link to you.
The only way I’d consider this is by packing up and moving far away and never putting him on the birth certificate. You really need the people around you too keep there mouths firmly shut that you are pregnant.
I hope he doesn’t already know.
Agree you need to stop telling everyone because if you go ahead you will want to say it's 100% not his, definitely conceived while he's in jail.
3 words.... one night stand!! If anyone asks, if word gets out. Just say that. I’m dealing with a meth addict as a father. I wish to god when I had my baby I never breathed a word, said it was a one night stand and moved on with my life. Nope 9 mths later still being manipulated using our child, ruining my life and making it impossible to move forward cause every few days he pops back up off his frigging head, gaslighting and manipulating me into feeling like the lowest human on this planet.
Walk away keep you baby and never look back ❣️
This is your baby, your body and your life! Don’t let anyone else tell you what to do. As you say you’ve been trying for many years and finally are getting what you desire.
It doesn’t matter about the father he may never want to be involved or if he does it’s workable.
You can do it and he won’t get to see the child easy if he’s in jail. He sounds like he wouldn’t bother anyway.
Oh sweetie. If it were me, I'd be keeping the bub. Put no father in the cert and definitely seek legal advice. If he doesn't know now, then bubs is a one night stand baby according to him.
I had an abortion at 19, worst thing I ever did. I hate myself for it every day. It's not something I'd do ever again.
❤❤❤❤
I personally would keep the baby.
I wouldn’t tell the dad, BUT I would tell the child as they get older who the dad is. I’d explain why you didn’t tell the dad. Not go full into why but just little pieces.
Good luck and congratulations
Have the baby it’s happened for a reason. If he abusive or anything else that leads to an Avo don’t tell him and leave him off the birth certificate. You will be better off and you can tell your child when old enough if u want
If you decide to keep bub, you need supportive people around you who you can trust not to spill any news of baby to him. Lock down your Facebook and all social media, never ever post pics of bub online. You just never know if he could try to find you down the track.
Put father unknown on birth certificate and just do it all on your own. It won't be worth the headache to have a POS like that manipulating your and your child's life. If anyone asks, just say the father is in the picture and leave it at that.
Tell your child when they are old enough to understand. Write down his details to give to them in the future.
Move whilst he is in Jail, change phone numbers only give it to trusted friends /Family or new people who don’t know him, change social media accounts with trusted people only on them, or shut them down completely if you can manage, have this beautiful baby and don’t tell him, as far as your concerned you had a one night stand and that person is the Father, Don’t put him on the birth certificate!
write down as many of his and his family’s details as you can remember for when your child is old enough in case he/she wants to make contact.
Good luck and congrats
If you decide to keep it. Do yourself a favour and dont put dad on birth certificate. I dontbelieve he neesa to kbow its his either because he will only use thd child to hurt mum on the end.
Avo against you or? If against you, it can extend it to the child, id keep it, raising a baby alone is alot easier than people think, most mums can work out daycare etc for when they're working, and alot of mums that have partners are still doing all the house work and cooking while husbands/partners slum it on the couch
Father unknown is going to be your saviour IF he is not the type of person to sign over all rights