Hi,
My partner and I have been together for 2 years, living together for approx 6 months. We both have 3 children each, 2 are teenagers (15 & 14) the other 4 are girls aged 6, 7, 10 & 11. My partner and I are perfect for each other and we have done incredibly well blending our families together. We have all 6 every 2nd weekend and then they are at their respective parents the other weekend, we also have his 3 kids twice a week for dinner. Everyone gets on and there are no issues, we have a great system in place, life is great, things are easy.......
However I have just found I am pregnant!!! This was not planned. I was done, so was my partner, my baby has just turned 6, his last baby (now 7) was an IVF baby and at the time he was told he had a very low sperm count. We are always careful but do not use any form of contraception other than the withdrawal method.
I am scared. I know we can financially manage, but the thought of being pregnant again (I get very sick) and actually giving birth gives me anxiety. I basically raised my 3 girls by myself as my ex husband was not hands on and worked as much as he could so he wasn't home (we separated when my youngest was almost 2) I felt isolated as a mum with young kids and had post natal depression with my last baby. My current partner is amazing, he is hands on and an incredible father, however we will have 7 children. This scares the hell out of me. I know I shouldn't but I worry what people will think. Am I stupid, are we stupid? I have no doubt the baby will be loved but don't we have enough.....Are we selfish to go through with this? Are we selfish to not go through with it? Will a baby throw everything out of whack? I also realise we haven't been together a long time, I have no doubt we are meant to be and are strong enough to do this but we love our kid free weekends and spending time with each other. Our baby days were well and truly over (I am 37, he is 41) I know how all this sounds but this is how I am feeling......please give me any advise, good or bad I need to hear it all.
11 Replies
I had to much empathy for your situation until you said you don’t bother using contraception. What the hell did you think was going to happen.
“Always careful” “withdrawal method” what? Lol
How does this judgemental comment help the poster?
It’s not judgmental it’s common sense. If you have unprotected sex you will get pregnant
Oh dear, please, whatever you to decide to do, the withdrawal method is not a reliable form of contraception!
Sperm counts change over time depending on the health of a person. Plus the combo of people changes things too.
Now, I’m sure it will all work out fine, all the kids are old enough that they should be pitching in around the house. I’d just keep that lack of contraceptive use to myself!
An error in judgment was made, you're now facing the consequences.
Time to be pragmatic about all this. Weigh up your options, the pros and cons, and make your choice.
That's literally all you can do.
I can understand where you’re coming from with being done and then unexpectedly find out you’re pregnant. I’m going through it right now and I’m almost 40. For me it took a lot talking and thinking and I even put a post up here about it and decided to keep it.
Selfish doesn’t come in at all, it’s your choice.
Big hugs since it’s such a huge time for you.
how is having unprotected sex and falling pregnant a surprise?
Come on mumma, let's drop the judgement and be supportive. We all have surprises in our life that in hindsight were to be expected
You need to choose depending on what you could manage by yourself. It's too early to assume this will make you stronger, it's more likely to cause stress and problems. If it works out great, but make your decision based on what you could handle if you end up doing it single.
Yep I agree, only six months living together, make a decision based on you only, you have no idea how this will pan out.