I am self employed and have a maintenance business involving all sorts of cleaning and renovations. Ive been doing this for 9 years and i love the rewards, big profits, time off whenever i want to and such but i juat hate dealing with people. I had a customer saying they have some sort of a problem on friday and i asked to catvh up and they said they wont be available until next week. I tried to ask what the problem is but he just wont say. It does my head in. I cant sleep i cantbstop thinking about it. And this happens all the time whenever someone wants to sort something out.
If my worker wants to meet me in three days, i would be so anxious about it that i loose sleep and just want to get it over and done with.
This part of my job makea me want ro throw the towel. It doesnt happen often but when it happens, it makes me so nervous. I dont see myself doing anything else, i like having my own money and like spending it too but i just feel like this part of the job isbwhat i hate. Conflict, confrontation and people dragging a problem days out and i can only asked kindly to sort it out now, i cant force them and be rude? Im just so annoyed. How can i even try to change my mindset? I wake up at 2am and there it is wonder wonder.
I hate it
But what other job is out there, maybe i shohld go back in being an employee
4 Replies
There will still be this issue if you changed jobs or became employed by someone else. So I don’t believe changing your employment would help at all.
I think getting some coping mechanisms will help, and learning to laugh at yourself (I often laugh at my brain and anxiety). You might find mindfulness therapy, CBT (challenging your thought patterns) and developing some chants/affirmations helpful. I also find exercise really helps switch my thoughts off too, helps me break the worry cycle.
I think this is what makes you a good business owner, you are stressing that your customer is unhappy and maybe the job wasn't done to standard, I think this anxiety is pretty common for business owners. If you can afford to can you look at hiring an assistant manager and handball customer and employee communications to them while you deal with all the behind the scenes stuff?
I used to have extreme anxiety and when I saw a professional she simply said that we can't control how people will react or what they will say, we can only control our response. It really helped me. I also found on YouTube a woman named Adrienne who did a video on yoga breathing exercises. If you type in Adrienne's, anxiety and breathing you can find it easily. Don't worry hun it does get better
I have anxiety. If someone says to me "We need to talk later" or my husband texts me and says "Call me when you get a second, not urgent" my mind goes into overdrive. I need to know NOW what's wrong or what needs to be talked about. I have many, many friends with similar issues and they all say the same. There's even memes about it (we need to laugh at ourselves sometimes!!)
I agree with the posters above who recommend therapy/strategies such as CBT to manage the anxiety. It can be debilitating. I've had times where stuff has been unresolved for a while and weighing on my mind and lost many nights worth of sleep, been unable to focus on work, eat too much or not enough, drink too much etc to cope. I still don't cope that well but it's better.