Hi ladies,
I need some advice, as my head and heart are at war! I just found out I'm about 5 weeks pregnant. We have a large blended family already with 7 kids, our youngest being 6mo twins. My partner and I have had the discussion of whether we were done and we were both not sure. But since finding out that we have another on the way it seems as though his decision is to terminate. My head says the same as I'm not sure how we would cope mentally or financially. But I have always been dead against terminations. I am not sure I would ever forgive myself if I went through with a termination. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks early last year and that almost broke me emotionally so I don't know whether I could lose a baby by choice. How do you make a decision? I don't want either of us to resent the other by the decision we make.
9 Replies
I think only you can know. If it were me and I had 6 month old twins I would absolutely terminate without guilt. Def would be sad but I would forgive myself. I love my children but I know I wouldn’t have coped with 3 under 2... pro choice sweetheart! Good luck in this decision!
I wouldn’t terminate, it’s not an option for me- but only you can make this decision
It's not a baby, it's cells right now. The choice is whether you want a baby, that's a huge decision especially with your circumstances. It's a matter of personal opinion and you could change yours, thats very possible, maybe with some more information and enough good reason and measure. I would say to speak to a nurse or doctor or better yet an abortion clinic (they're not trying to recruit but they give real, factual unbiased information).
The cells stage stops at about a week after conception.
This unborn human being already has a heartbeat.
If you must suggest abortion, please be intellectually honest and not say things like it’s a clump of cells when it’s not.
Anyone can look up embryology websites and see the truth.
The clump of cells, also called an embryo, is the size of a pea. Take your agenda elsewhere, preferably just stop it.
I think in these circumstances, you have to do what’s right for your existing family.
Seven kids, if you feel you are giving them all that they need, not just physically/financially, but most importantly emotionally and you have more in the tank to give, then go for it.
If you feel you are already stretched too thin and it will impact the attention/love you give the others, then I wouldn’t.
People always factor in new house, car, no one ever talks about time, mental energy, one on one time with their parents to build that close bond. Asa blended family, I think that one on one time is so much more important. Kids needs to feel important and a member of the new family, know their special place, where they belong. Just my two cents worth.
I guess what I’m saying is not focus on what you want or what you could live with and base it on your family, the best choice for them.
At the end of the day, either will be hard but if you know you did what was right for your family, you will be able to live with either decision, because this decision doesn’t just affect you, it’s affects your entire family. Only you know your family, your ability to cope and the dynamics.
I'm very much pro choice, but I would never suggest someone get a termination if they wernt 100% sure, but I'm also very much on the fence about a mans say in this, i know it's our body, but I have the belief that the dads have a say as well. Such a tough situation to be in, my heart really goes out to you. I guess the decision would have to be weighed up, would the affect of another child affect you mentally more then a termination. Or would a termination be more detrimental to your mental health then another child?
You and your partner will always wonder about the life that was. You and your family will find a way.