I’ve made a decision to not let my children stay over at thier fathers house on his weekend Which is coming up, due to finding out (with my own eyes) and through his family that his drinking issues (was the reason we separated) aren’t his only issues, he is infact now having drug issues (cocaine) which has become a more then once a week thing. I wanted to get some advice, if you have been in similar circumstances, what have you done to prevent the other parent from just going to the school and getting the child/children? I’m aware that I can go through court in regards to custody, but I’m just worried about the right now (I will seek legal advice tomorrow) I just wanted to maybe hear from some mums that may have been in a similar situation. And trust me this is the last thing I Wanted to do and keep children from seeing their dad, but I feel right now, his definitely not a safe and stable person to look after himself let alone have them over for a weekend visit. Please help. I’m freaking out a little bit.
Dads drug use - not allowing weekend visits.
Dads drug use - not allowing weekend visits.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Kids
5 Replies
If there is no court orders, he is free to take the kids from class, or from anywhere for that matter whenever he likes, just like you can.
Just like you are free to withhold visits, so too can he to you, regardless of tge reason. So it's important you seek orders for supervised visits for the interim as well as regular drug testing. He can also seek the visit orders himself too.
You cannot stop him taking his children, neither can other caregivers and teachers. He is their legal guardian and has just as much rights as you do. If he does collect the children he can also withhold them from you, just like your planning on doing to him. If he picks them up and refuses to give them back you will need to apply to the courts for a recovery order. Police will not get involved as there are no court orders, so legally he has done nothing wrong
Yes you can take measures to stop him, to protect the kids, get onto that legal advice.
What ever you do — DO NOT MAKE A SCENE AT THE SCHOOL. Happened to my friends and ex was banned from the school and the poor kids were mortified.
Personally id be providing him with advice (email text and letter) of your concerns and intentions. I’d also be advising that You will not be hesitant to contact police regarding his illegal drug use (my ex was a drinker and would regularly drive around with an open long neck so I advised him I would report him and did). I’d be picking them up an hour early just to be sure.
You can stop him having the children but be prepared to state exactly why that was in the children’s best interests... and when I say this (from experience, my ex was on ice) I mean you need to have strong evidence that lead you to those “conclusions” which is how they see it. When I said that I thought he was on ice they asked me if I was qualified to make those assumptions etc. So document everything, and I mean everything. Then either text or email him explaining all the reasons why you are withholding the children until he can provide a hair follicle text to prove that he is not under the influence of illegal substances. Make suggestions as to how he can see them - like through a contact centre or supervised by someone you trust and then leave it with him. Be prepared for a shit storm but don’t give up. I’ve lived it, you can do it.