Former acquaintance, turned nasty b***h.
A mum at school n I used to get along really well, but recently, a difference in opinion cause some huge drama. I accepted her view, listened to her reason why, but I wasn't allowed to have the same right to n option witch led to abusive fb posts, inboxes and now confrontational school pick ups. I really don't understand her mentality, and really don't care for th drama. What makes this hard though is friends feel stuck in th middle, and due to anxitay, freeze in th moment, leaving me to walk away on my own. I then feel alone, and she gets joy out of watching me there with out others to talk too. What should I do.
Bully school mum
Bully school mum
Posted in:
Behaviour
24 Replies
Keep doing what you're doing, ignoring her. Or message back politely and say u Dont want any further debates and to please stop. I believe it'll blow over and if anything, everyone will see who she really is.
I do, however, find it hard to believe that she would be randomly attacking you just bcoz of a difference of opinuin, unless you wound her up. But either way she shouldn't be doing this
I don't feel the riots were justafide as people were having homes and businesses burned down, people were getting hurt and people were even killed by rioters. Because I feel that way, that makes me resist. I didn't argue with her, just simply said how I feel, like she did. I was ok with her view as each to their own, but I didn't do or say anything to be harassed and run down.
I can't believe she is taking such an issue with it. Crazy. I talk about current events all the time with friends and even strangers as I work in a news agency and the paper is a good convo starter 😂. But seriously have never had anyone get fired up when disagreeing. I think if she's making life hell at school for you it won't hurt to have a chat to the principal about the situation, they deserve to know if there's a chance it could get worse and an incident happens on school grounds. I would also be highly offended if someone accused me of being racist and would probably threaten legal action as that's a serious claim to make and could be very damaging to your reputation. It's up to you how far you take it.
You are both in the wrong 🤷♀️ two wrongs don't make it right. Move on. Go thru another gate if you really need to. Move on. Whilst I agree with your acquaintance, you have right to your opinion. Don't get cosy with school mums. Find your own crowd. You are not kids/students.
Different poster but in my family's experience, the other child sexually assaulted my son while in her care. My son told a teacher, she was called, burst into tears, wanted clarity and then blamed my son for it. Encouraged her son to alienate and bully my child then did the same with the other parents saying my child likes to touch willies when he forced my son to pull his pants down and touched him inappropriately.
I almost took my son out of the school for it, she left the country without addressing her child's inappropriate behavior (it was later discovered he tried doing things with another boy and his younger sister) and has probably gone on to become a teen who has a significant problem with boundaries.
It was traumatic for everyone. She shouldn't of victim blamed my son, could have supervised them and should have not asked me to keep it confidential to give her the chance to alienate my family.
If you're arguing over riots and she thinks your racist for an opinion then just imagine what will happen if something serious were to happen.
I'd just let it be and don't tangle your relationships with school mums with your personal life.
Shit, you both sound like students. Why do you need to talk to her? why does her opinion matter? Why does yours matter? Pick your kids up and go home. Why all the drama
Enter a different school gate all together. Id just avoid her all together. Get a completely different drop of/meeting point with your kids and avoid avoid avoid.
This is why I don't get too cozy with the school mums. First name basis, casual small talk - sure!
Sharing my opinions, my political or religious stance and discussing controversial and divisive current events - never!
(I have the same philosophy for colleagues too).
That ship has already sailed for you obviously and this needs to be addressed. Block her on all social media platforms for starters (save or screen shot any abusive messages you have received before you do in case you need them for evidence down the track).
Let the principal know this is going on!
A similar thing happened at my kids school and the senior staff took it extremely seriously because every student and their parents are entitled to feel safe in the school grounds.
They will most likely give her a warning, if it continues she'll be banned from the grounds.
Avoid her! If there's only one entrance, arrive earlier so you can slip in without the scene. If there's another entrance, use that. If your child is old enough, get them to walk to the car themselves.
If you do all that and have no improvement, then I'd consider taking it to the police because it's harassment plain and simply.
I also hope you know those other ladies aren't your friends either. Friends don't sit back and allow another friend to be attacked and bullied. That's not anxiety, it's cowardice.
Excellent advice here. Other comments have been dismissive of the Ops situation even though it could be very damaging to the OP and her kids.
Then maybe op should take this as a learning opportunity to keep her opinions to her self. It doesn’t matter what the other mother thought about a political problem, they are not friends having a chat at home, they are school mums waiting to pick their children up. They are both in the wrong. The conversation wasn’t appropriate to be having at school anyway. It seems like both of these women like the drama, if op didn’t she wouldn’t have arched up and gotten into a debate in the first place. Time to get over it and move on
It doesn't matter how it started, it is childish of you to be stuck on that. The problem is the other person is not getting on with her life and is making OPS life difficult, all over a difference of opinion on something that happened in another country.
If someone talks to me about something giving me their opinion then I do give my opinion on it too, that's what adults do and how adults have conversations. We are entering a very sad world if we are not allowed to voice our opinion if it's different to someone else's because we might offend them.
The OP does not deserve to be harassed and bothered at school pick ups and online because of differing opinions. Doesn't matter how it started, doesn't matter if it was an appropriate school yard topic of conversation.
What she's enduring is not ok or in any way justified.
I truly cannot beleive that needs to be said.
If this was happening to a child, you'd all be out for blood.
I know my friends well,and they both suffer anxiaty, one so bad she won't leave th house at times. I saw th looks on their faces and know, if they didn't feel intimidated, they would have said something. This woman was very over th top loud and condescending. I also suffer debilitating anxiety so I truly understand my mates reactions.
Plenty of times people air their opinion which is ill informed, close minded, obnoxious and usually loud and forceful and you know what, all the people who smile and nod and wander off are doing? Theyre NOT sharing their thoughts. There is a time and place for every thing. School is not a place to get into this. Dont involve the principal she has better things to do!
🙄 how short sighted can some people be...
This isn't even about 2 people who couldn't have a respectful discussion anymore.
Base level - this shit is probably happening in front of other students and parents who are just trying to go about their business. If this woman is scaring other grown women stiff, you can bet your ass it's scaring kids, kids which by the way, the principal is bound to protect by their duty of care.
But hey, I guess a parent who is irrational enough to start popping off at the school gate isn't the principals concern right?
Thats a bit extreme. The whole post is a social drama. The 'scared stiff' friends arent taking her side and she has to stand alone. Sure the woman sounds nasty, and the friends arent real friends, but the kids just want to get to and from school. Focus on them. Just get your kids and go home and I think this issue will resolve itself.
Ok, this is where people shouldn't assume. We would catch up maybe once a month for a play date. Our kids r good friendsbut but i never went out of my way to hang out. It wasn't a conversation at school but elsewhere.i don't normally do pick ups as my kids catch a bus, but I have to get kids once a week for after school sports. I've avoided this woman for a month, blocked her on all social as did my husband once the abuse started. I don't talk about her to our mutual friends as its not their problem, but she sure does, and I've been slandard on fb. My aboriginal kids want to know why their friends mum says I'm racist. She went out of her way to walk up to me yesterday to try and start somthing and i walked away. She was loud and intimidating, and not just our friends but all th parents standing there looked shocked and worried.The school has one gait for pick ups so i cant just try another gait. I can't wait in the car as th kids have to cross a main road. I kept my distance and wish to avoid her like mad.
You've done all the right things so far but it's gone on way too long and way beyond the scope of what you can now manage on your own.
It's time to gather your evidence, go to the police, apply for an AVO or restraint order, probably get some legal advice as well and please make sure the school is aware of all this in case it escalates to the point she starts targeting your children.
I'm sorry you're going through this, I actually know a school mum who sounds just like your "friend". So I know how unstable and irrational people like this are!
Trial waiting until right on bell time or a few minutes past even, before you go to get the kids from the gate. If this is still causing a drama then do as advised above and get principal and police involved.
Maybe even ask the principal if they can hold your kids back an extra minute or two until she's gone so you can collect your kids in peace.
People like this will never see any reasoning unfortunately.
Good luck and hope you can find a peaceful solution.
Note to incoming kindy/prep parents - don’t make drop off and pick up your social scene. Hi and bye only.
Rules for social calm... don't discuss politics, religion or science. She's over the top but you contributed to the situation.
How old are you women? How ridiculous 🤣
I had this.
I just stopped going into the school and waited in the car. But my son was about 7 when shtf and was old enough to walk from his classroom to the pick up drop off zone unattended. He loved the independence. The next time I was seen on campus was during an all school event 5 years later. The other mothers came up to me and made this huge fuss about not seeing me around when they all knew it was her doing. I flatly said exactly why and that I was treated badly by all of them because of her. They all said this woman had falling outs with lots of families afterwards and then other stopped associating with them. They moved when the kids were all 9.
I am relieved I wasn't involved in the drama and I was relieved to say why. They all looked very guilty.