Baby after miscarriage

Anonymous

Baby after miscarriage

I’m about 8 weeks pregnant after having a miscarriage a year ago. I never really understood how traumatic a miscarriage is until I went through it myself and have not been the same since. This baby is very wanted but I feel like I can’t get my hopes up. We have had a dating ultrasound and saw a heartbeat but I still get anxiety that at my next one there might be no heartbeat. My husband shows no emotion at all and I feel like I can’t even talk about the pregnancy or baby related things with him. I’ve told 3 close friends and they are excited, even buying a few things here and there but I keep saying don’t buy anything yet just wait and see. Why am I feeling like this? It’s a whole new pregnancy but I can’t shake the anxiety.

Posted in:  Loss & Grief, Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler

7 Replies

Anonymous

Sorry for your previous loss however congratulations on this pregnancy.

I had the exact same feelings following my miscarriage. I was so so so anxious and kept thinking "what if" and desperately longed for those ultrasounds.

One thing that helped me through was that this baby deserves love and happiness, exciting. It deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated. It's our bodies natural reaction to be guarded, but try and let your guard down and let this baby have all the love it deserves whether it survive or not <3 <3 I would head online, pick the cutest darn outfit you can find and buy it for yourself and baby (in newborn size). And have that ready for when baby is born as a reminder of how special and longed for this baby was.

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Anonymous

It’s completely normal to feel how you do, I feel as if I wrote this myself 12 months ago.
I experienced 3 consecutive miscarriages followed by a healthy pregnancy which now she is here. 💕
I felt so anxious, my partner didn’t show any emotion ( which is most likely deep down and they don’t want to upset you more or make you more anxious ) he does care tho!

Congratulations 💕 all the best, lots of healthy baby dust. 💕. Stay calm.

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Anonymous

I’m so sorry for your loss..

Please know your feelings are so normal. I didn’t get excited with pregnancy post miscarriage until 20 weeks scan.

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Anonymous

I can't comment from personal experience as I've never experienced a miscarriage or loss. I have friends who have lost babies in various stages of pregnancy, one who had a preterm labour and birth, after which the poor babe didn't survive, and unfortunately even a couple of babies born still.

I can imagine (especially if you have never carried a pregnancy to term or come home with a live baby) that feeling like this - for both expectant parents - is extremely common. It's a protective mechanism. Last time you were hurt so you're keeping yourself distant to try to shield yourself from more hurt. It makes sense.

I think knowing the point where the anxiety goes from being okay, just there in the background, to preventing you from functioning on a day-to-day basis is the key. And seek out help if you think it's reached that point. Your hospital/doctor/midwives should be able to point you in the direction of counselling if necessary. Hubby mighy need some too.

All the best of luck, I'm sending sticky baby vibes your way xxxx

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Anonymous

I am yet to experience another pregnancy since my miscarriage but I feel this is 100% normal and prepared to feel the same whenever we fall pregnant again.

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Anonymous

It’s ok to feel like that I had 2 miscarriages then 3 months after each miscarriage I fell pregnant again and it felt like I was walking on eggshells around the mark that I lost both my baby’s my sons father didn’t take it well when I miscarriaged and started doing things like pot, staying out all night and even started sleeping around with other women and when I was 3 months pregnant we got into a huge arrangement and we splitand I have pretty much been raising my son alone ever since then I got with someone new 4 years later I fall pregnant to him and lose that baby then 3 months later I fall again and now have a 7month old daughter some times it’s just easier to not pay attention or it’s something that he may not be able to deal with and he might need to seek professional help to deal with it

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Anonymous

What you are feeling is totally normal.
I have had 2 successful pregnancies since my miscarriage. It was a missed miscarriage, my body didn't recognize that bub had passed so I needed a D&C.
I was absolutely terrified at every scan that there would be no heartbeat. This lasted until I started to feel them moving. But I still felt like I couldn't relaxe until had my babies in my arms

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