Out of control kid

Anon Imperfect Mum

Out of control kid

Please help

So I have a 17 year old son. He’s always been a handful, always had trouble at school, was the troublemaker and has always been the leader and bad influence in his group. Over the last 18 months he has stolen over $2000 from me, stolen my
Meds to sell and buy MDMA and weed, can be verbally abusive, dropped out of school & is stealing from the local shops. He’s had 4 mental health presentations to ED, referred to a couple of services who have just said, well he’s not interested in taking part and just closed the case.

He can be so sweet and loving, but I have no doubt that he’s manipulating me. He lies so easily, that he
Could say the sky is blue and the sun rises in the east and I wouldn’t believe him.

I’ve done everything, absolutely everything I can to help him, and he’s still spiralling out of control. He’s moving away next week and tbh I cannot wait. It’s affecting me and his sister. He has to go and learn his own lessons now, and I think he has to hit rock bottom before he realises where he is.

I feel like the worst parent ever. My
Kid is the bad kid, and I don’t know how it happened.

I guess what I’m asking is, has anyone else had a kid that has gotten themselves out of a really bad phase and turned their lives around? I need hope that maybe he isn’t irredeemable, because the way he’s going he is going to end up in jail.

Thanks 🙏

Posted in:  Parenthood Guilt

4 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

My cousin was like this, got in trouble with the police constantly from 12 up and hit drugs hard. Then something happened when he got to about 23, he just got his life together. Someone took him in as a mature apprentice and 10 years later he's a very successful diesel mechanic with his own business, making a killing every year. He is a completely different person. I think you are so right, you need to let him hit rock bottom to have his 'wake up moment. Don't blame yourself. He is almost an adult and his actions belong to him, good and bad. Help him only if his welfare is compromised and dont give him cash no matter what sob story he gives you. So if he asks for money for food don't give it to him, buy him food instead. I hope things turn around quickly for him and you x

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I had one of 'these' kids. He's almost 30 yrs old now and is worse than ever. He was never raised this way. He never got better no matter what we tried.

I hope in your case, he does come good.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

My husband was this kid, he was a right utter asshole.
But moving out of home at least stabilized him, he knew rent came b4 drugs. He got an apprenticeship it wasn't great but it paid the bills we met ( well remet at 20, we to school together but he was asked to leave in yr8 due to his crappy behavior) he got it together slowly but we got there, he had 2 trades by 30 is now leading hand at his workshop as a heavy diesel mechanic makes a very decent income for me and our 2 kids.
Yes as a teen he was fucking screw up but by 23 he was off any drugs stopped smoking and well now has a garage full of toys.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Can you sit him down and talk to him, ask him what for ro this point. Has anything ever happened to him and is he covering some kind of trauma that he doesn’t know how to deal with and come out with. Take him out somewhere just the 2 of you and have an open and honest talk with him. Show him how much you love and care and find out where his pain is comin from that he is covering. I feel there is more to him that he is crying out for help but can’t out it.

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