I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my 3rd child. My youngest is 4 at the end of the year and my brother and his wife have been trying for a baby since then with one pregnancy endIng in miscarriage. How do I tell them gently I’m having another? All her sisters have fallen pregnant around her and you can see and hear the pain in them as excited as they try to sound for people. I’m totally heart broken for them.
Please no smart ass comments like “just tell them” because I need to be sensitive about it and make it as gentle as possible. Thanks!
Telling family I’m pregnant
Telling family I’m pregnant
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy
7 Replies
I would get in contact with them first and try and tell them in person nice and gently. Just so they don’t hear it firsthand from someone else and see the excitement.
Congrats!
Agreed. I would definitely get in contact with them and tell them in person first. Tell them you were worried about them hearing it second-hand and that you care about them and that you support them. They may be over the moon. They may be sad. They may be angry. None of those feelings will be about you. You could expect them to have reactions to anyone close becoming pregnant right now.
I would carefully word a text message and send it that way. Then they can be fake excited for you at that moment because I can guarantee it's more awkward for them than it is for you. This is their private journey and with every pregnancy announcement they probably feel as though everyone is watching them and feeling sorry for them which is a really awkward feeling. Just let them be fake happy and dont take it personally or feel as though you're taking something from them. You deserve to be happy about this just as they do when they finally get to have a baby.
My hubby and I were trying for 10 years to fall pregnant. It was hard hearing friends tell me they were expecting. My sister in law in particular was worried about telling me. When she and her hubby came over to tell us, she just put her arms around me, held me tight and whispered "I'm pregnant". Of course I was nothing but happy for her. Yes there were tears while she was there.....and many many more tears when she left.
Just know she will cry and ask why it's not her. She may not even talk to you for a little bit. But deep down she will be happy for you.
Good Luck xx
Maybe sit her down on her own and speak to her. Tell her you want to share the news with her and are afraid of upsetting her and feel for her and will always be there for her etc.
I would absolutely tell them first. No fan fair, just a conversation. Acknowledge how they are feeling, let them know you know they are beyond happy to be getting a niece or nephew however heartbroken for themselves.
Let them know that you’re feeling their pin along with them and you know that you understand wholeheartedly that you can be both happy for someone and heartbroken for you own circumstances.
Go to their place on your own and tell them together. Let them have some breathing space. Don’t do it at a family event because they will feel like everyone is staring at them. It’s such a rough position for them to be in. That was us for years. You don’t know how fragile people are feeling at different times and also she could burst into tears but that has no reflection on her happiness for you but more so sadness it’s not her. You’re wonderful to feel so compassionate.